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September 21st, 2012, 06:07 AM
Stephanie_M's Avatar
Stephanie_M Stephanie_M is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Hollywood, MD
Posts: 4,902
I am so sorry I posted and neve replied. Classes have been kicking my butt!

I've had binge eating disorder (BED) for as long as I can remember. My childhood was very rough. My mom was very sick (physically and emotionally). I was physically and emotionally abused by her most of my life. She liked to use food as a reward and lack of for punishment. I can't remember her ever saying I was beautiful. I was always told I was disgusting and fat. I was also sexually abused by a few of her boyfriends and one of mine years ago. Eating was the only solace I had.

I think the bulimic and anorexic tendencies weren't really triggered until I was around 19 or 20. A family member who meant well would always comment that I was eating too much and made me even more self concious of it. Because I lived with her I just stopped eating. I may have eaten no more than 300 calories a day and it was nothing but chicken and steamed veggies. I also would workout until I fainted. I dropped over a hundred pounds in a short amount of time. The bulimic tendencies didn't rear their head until I was around 21 and dating my now DH.

The worst and most embarrassing part is having an ED and still being ridiculously overweight. It's embarrassing. I just have to come to terms with the fact that I will never have a normal relationship with food.
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