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October 16th, 2012, 09:51 AM
rebecca0217 rebecca0217 is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,861
I am still having a hard time maintaining a healthy weight. I feel like I eat a lot-and not all of it healthy. This morning I weighed myself and I am 100 lbs. DH would be really upset if he knew. I feel like I have to keep it a secret from him. I am still nursing my now 1 year old-so perhaps if I stop my weight will stop dropping. I don't want to wean him though, I am really enjoying the connection and he shows no interest in stopping.
A few months ago I tried keeping track of my meals and calories to see if I was indeed eating enough and it looked like I wasn't making it to the 2,500 I am supposed to eat every day. I felt like if I ate anymore it was going to make me sick!! I dont' eat that great of a breakfast-usually yogurt, cereal or a protein bar with my coffee. I snack and such but it is not helping. I feel pretty good about how I look. Although I still dislike my stomach-and I feel that if I am not 100% happy with my body now at 100 lbs...I have a real problem. For a while I thought I was making it up in my head-that I really didn't have an issue and that I can gain weight any time I want. It hasn't happened yet. My mom, grandmother and MIL constantly ask me if I eat, try to shove vitamins down my throat (figuratively of course) and I just want to smack them.
I wasn't even going to weigh myself but I started feeling really tired and dizzy more often...so I thought I should check and i was really shocked and embarrassed when I saw the number. I don't have any friends who know about my problem and I am scared that DH will not help...or that he will try and force me to wean my son. I don't have anyone to talk to IRL about it. I feel like a failure and I worry that I won't be a good example to my daughter. If I can't keep myself healthy and confident in my body and be comfortable in my own skin how can I teach my daughter to do those things? Sorry for the long post, I am having a really tough time with this right now.
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