Topic: Rude!
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  #7  
October 27th, 2012, 07:46 PM
Ember Rose Ember Rose is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,684
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doodlebug06 View Post
I didn't tell him she had to leave but he was supposed to arrange for her to be here every other weekend and all summer and all holidays. He asked for her this weekend without even mentioning it to me first. I've had kids for the past 4 weekends and had sd9 for over a week while they were moving back to our town. I'm in need of a break and this was my last opportunity for a kid free weekend before mine come back too.
I am bipolar and part of keeping me from going insane is having my quiet time to relax. The weekend is the only time dh is home and can help w jade all weekend.
I'm struggling with an ADHD child and with a 9 year old sd who is going on 15. I NEED my break. Period. Baby was sick all week and I'm running on almost no sleep. I can NOT handle having his daughter every weekend, all summer and all holidays too. It's not so much HER, it's HIM letting her behave the way she does. She wouldn't act this way if he parented her. So his failure to parent her is why she can't be here more. But either way I even want my two other kids gone every other weekend. It's simple as that. I NEED my break and time to adult things.

I already looked up info on a marriage counselor and I'll be making an appointment this week. With or without him. But plain and simple his daughter will not be in this house disrespecting me. If he chooses to not see her because he can't discipline her, that's his choice. But my choice is that I won't be disrespected continuously and have no recourse to take care of the issue.

I might have found a therapist in my town who works from her home. I'm hoping so. I'll check it Monday but she's in for a whopper when she sees us....
Our last family therapist wouldn't see us again because he wouldn't stop overtaking everyone and he gets into such a pissy frenzy when he talks, that he seems out of control. Let's see how long therapist # 2 lasts...
You didn't have to explain it to me. Regardless of whether or not it's a choice I would make it's one you've made and it's one HE COSIGNED. THAT'S the issue. If he wasn't ok with that (and it seems like he wasn't) then he should have talked to you instead of just bringing her to the house without mentioning anything to you.

He created a child with you that he doesn't seem to ever help with, he doesn't parent his children when they're in your home and he agrees with you to your face and then does what he wants to do. I'm not saying I agree with how you feel about your stepchildren at this point or some of your actions (we stepparent INCREDIBLY differently) BUT your style of stepparenting doesn't make the fact that he gives no ****s about your feelings and has completely checked out ok either. Counseling. Just for you. I wouldn't even attempt to go together at this point. Because you can't change people you can only change what you do. And I feel like if you don't start working on yourself you're going to have major regrets. Maybe he'll hop on board with you maybe he won't. Who knows? But especially since you're bipolar it's the best thing for you if you try to figure out how to have some peace in your home IN SPITE of your husband.
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