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October 28th, 2012, 12:00 PM
Join Date: May 2011
Originally Posted by
Why are you not allowed to parent and punish a child in your house?
Here we co-parent even though we are not both bio-parents of all three kids. I can punish Robert just as well as Jonah can as well as tell him what he can and can't do.
Jonah has the same rights as well.
We are a parenting team. I fully believe that if a child knows that you can't do anything when they are misbehaving, they will run all over you. Your DSD will not respect you until you have some type of authority over her and she realizes that.
My point about authority is one night Robert got very mad at me over something. He sat down in the middle of the kitchen floor, crossed his arms, looked up at me and said, "I'm not taking a shower!" I put on my mom voice, looked at him and said "Sean is bigger than you, he will pick you up and put you in the shower and bathe you!" He got his tail up off the floor and ran to the bathroom and took a shower.
You have to let her know you mean business and will not put up with her nonsense.
Your guess is as good as mine.
I rarely spank my bio's but if they get absolutely out of control I will. Other than that I send them to their room without tv or electronics etc or take certain favorites away for a period of time.
Theirs not much we can use as punishment with sd. He won't spank her. Ever and won't allow anyone else to. (except her mom DOES spank her he just doesn't acknowledge).
If we take away things she just sits there doing nothing and then he feels like she's been mistreated and gives it back. Etc etc etc. there's no punishment here for her. There have been times *I* have called her mom over to handle issues during the summer. But her mom visits my house frequently anyway so that's not as bizarre as it sounds. I'm sure it sounds odd.
Her mom doesn't play. Sd9 doesn't get out of line with her mom and her mom even scares me. Lol. My kids don't even get out of line with sd9's mom.
Any way. Apparently dh let sd stay at her cousins house last night so he picked her up an hour ago. Before he left I told him I didn't appreciate what happened and if she was coming back here today I'd leave with jade until sd9 was gone unless he handled the situation appropriately.
He came home with her and had obviously had a talk with her bc she was upset and apologized. She has been on good behavior since getting back here. It never lasts long but I'm hopeful I can get into counseling this week. I do have certain issues I need to work on and I realize that. I just can't live in chaos like this forever and I need to figure out if there's any possibility of anything changing with him or if I need to just cut my losses and move on.
Jade Ja Kang
6lb 10 oz
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