Let's share our birth plans!
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November 17th, 2012, 08:47 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Originally Posted by
Im planning on staying home until I absolutely have to go to L&D. If my water breaks and there's no meconium/staining in it, I will just communicate with L&D over the phone and argue with them to stay home as long as possible. If it breaks and there is meconium/staining in my fluid, then I have no choice but to go in.
#1 No F'ing Pitocin unless medically necessary!! I don't care how long labor takes, Im not in a hurry.
#2 No coaching!! Im stubborn and don't respond well to people yelling "good job" or "you're doing great" in my face.
#3 No telling me "you're almost there" or "just one more push" unless its actually true. Don't lie to me! I'll cut you!! LOL!!
#4 Yes to an epidural if I feel like I need it. I don't expect labor to be "comfortable" but I certainly don't want to be hyperventilating and drifting in and out of consciousness because Im in too much pain (thats what happened the first time).
#5 If I have to have an episiotomy, please nobody tell me. Don't even say the word episiotomy out loud. I had one the first time, so I'll probably need one again. I didn't feel it and it healed pretty quick, but just the thought of it totally freaks me out.
#6 Do not let my husband cut the cord with his hunting knife no matter how much he begs.
#7 Thank God my hospital supports and encourages breastfeeding, because I am determined to exclusively breast feed my baby.
#8 No circumcision. I dont even know if they do this at the hospital after birth or if you have to go back later, but no matter.....we're not doing it. I left this decision up to my husband because he has a penis and I don't. He's perfectly happy being uncircumcised, so we decided to leave the baby's winky alone.
#9 Oh I almost forgot......Please for the love of God will someone give me some anti-nausea medicine!!! I threw up like Linda Blair the first time I was in labor. I little vomit here and there is normal during labor, but I was literally throwing up so much that I couldn't even hold DD when she was born for a long time because I couldn't stop. Im sure this was a side effect of the meds (I have a morphine intolerance and have to have anti-nausea drugs every time I even take a vicodin) so If I need anesthesia, Im gonna need a zofran or something.
Im sure when I go into labor I'll forget all this and just wing it. T-20 days and counting!!!
OMG, your birth plan had me cracking up! Love it.
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