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December 10th, 2012, 03:29 AM
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Frackel Frackel is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiam View Post
I don't like it when other adults spoil it for kids, but I really don't understand the argument of other children spoiling it.

Kids don't have much of barrier between their brains and their mouthes, nothing like what an adult does, and I find it really peculiar that this is something that children are expected to play along with.

I don't know, I just don't see where this expectation comes in about the whole world having to play along with what some people choose to do.
Do you feel the same about other beliefs? Or is it just Santa, or just beliefs you don't agree with?

Take God, for example. Do you think both children, and adults should "play along"(I'm not actually all that comfortable using that phrase as I don't personally believe it applies-but I know why others do), when others choose to believe? Do you think others, grown adults and children, ought to be able to spout off about how God doesn't exist, their parents are lying to them, etc.. etc...?

You're right that children don't have much of a barrier, they lack tact. As a parent, I try to help mine create one, and learn the art of tact. Because, as I stated, I do believe that we don't get to decide for others what a proper belief system is, or isn't. We only get to decide for ourselves. That's what I teach my children. That's what helps them realize it's ok to let others believe what they want to, encouraged even, regardless of their opinion on that particular belief. Children don't have that barrier because they haven't yet learned. It's our responsibility to help them learn. Will they always be able to? Absolutely not. We can't even manage and we're grown adults, lol. But it's still our responsibility to give them the tools to make good decisions in that area, even if they don't make those good decisions.

My kids do "play along", if that's what you want to call it, with others' beliefs. No matter what those beliefs are. Did they always, or will they? Absolutely not. I had to teach them how to begin with, and I continue to teach them every day. You don't have to agree or share the belief to simply keep your opinions, or thoughts, to yourself, or at least be tactful when discussing-when it comes to others' beliefs. That's one of the leading causes in conflict, the inability to allow others their own beliefs. The notion that we get to control what beliefs others have, when they can have them, how they can express them, which are more important, etc.. etc..

I think there are lots of ways you can address another person's beliefs without trampling on your own beliefs, morals, ethics, whatever you want to call it. Take Santa. If you truly believe telling a child yes he exists, is lying. Then find a way to address the child that tramples neither of your beliefs. It's not hard, or rather shouldn't be, for adults. It's a bit trickier for kids, who haven't yet learned the art of tact. But adults, nah. We make the conscious choice not to abide by the rules of tact. It's not because we don't understand them, or haven't yet learned. It's because we make the choice to ignore what we know.

I feel the same for people who tell others that NOT sharing things such as Santa with their children, is the wrong thing to do. I don't think anyone's beliefs ought to be brought down(or attempted to) by others. I have family members that are like that too. They very strongly express their opinions about the holidays and how we ALL celebrate them. They don't much care what others' beliefs really are. They just think everyone but them is wrong. That's just as bad of an approach, imo.
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