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December 11th, 2012, 05:31 PM
LadieBug LadieBug is offline
Host of March '10 PR
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 4,744
Hi girls!
Just wanted to update you on what's been going on with me. First of all, I want to apologize for not being around much. I feel like a crappy co-host. There is just so much going on, I feel like I'm spread so thin. I do read the boards, just not much time to respond.
The good news is, Lucy is doing very well. They take such awesome care of her in the NiCU, we are so grateful for the wonderful care she is getting.
Lucy spent 48hrs under the special list bc her billirubin levels were very high (jaundice). She is now out of the lights and into a regular bassinet. Now they are really working on her eating. She has a feeding tube in that they use if she doesn't do well with the bottle. Sometimes she eats ok, other times she is very sleepy or doesn't want to suck. Sucking is a skill that is really worked on the last few weeks of pregnancy, so as a 34-weeker, she is naturally behind in that area. They really need to see her start gaining weight. It's just going to take time. Each day, she gets a day older and stronger!
I am pumping at home for her, and working on nursing when I go visit each day. I'm thrilled to report that today was her best nursing session yet. She did awesome and was more interested/eager than ever. Now that her jaundice is getting better, she has more energy. No word yet on when she might come home. I don't think it will be terribly long though.
Now for the bad... And it's really not bad it's just the sucky part. The reality of it. Lucy is great. Mommy however, is run-ragged. Between trying to get to the hospital as much as possible, almost an hour each way. Caring for my daughter (she can't go into the NICU, so I have to find care for her when I go to the hospital). Trying to pump, it's going ok but would be so much easier with baby nearby.
It's really, really hard to not have my baby with me. I know she's where she needs to be right now. And if I didn't have another child, I'd be there 24/7. I just feel spread so thin, my heart wants to be two places at once. I feel guilty when I'm not at the hospital bonding with her and nursing her. I feel guilty leaving DD1, because I was gone all week last week and she missed me terribly.

I know all this will be over soon and we'll have Lucy at home with us. Like I said, I am so so so grateful for the care she is receiving. We have a lot to be thankful for. And we LOVE Lucy so much. She is such a sweet little peanut. She rarely cries, she just sleeps looking like a little angel DH has been great through all this too. He has really stepped it up in his role as daddy. He goes to visit Lucy before work- waking up at 3:30am to go see her. He usually goes after work too, just to hold her for a while. So in all I know we'll grow stronger from this as a family.

I'm finally spending an evening at home, so I hope to sit down and write my birth story tonight. I hope everyone is well, miss you all!!!
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