Ho ho horrible Christmas
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December 22nd, 2012, 10:39 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Maryland, near DC
Sorry to vent about this (I will try to keep it short) but it's hard to look at people and talk about all this. My family (to clarify, with parents and siblings) is a train wreck. My grandma, mom's mom that I was really close to, passed away right around Thanksgiving. About an hour, my dad, who has always treated me pretty badly, started screaming at me for being there. Only my two year old in the house at the time. I haven't spoken to him since bc I can't handle being treated that way anymore. My mom is having jealousy issues bc I have a really close relationship with her sister. I think she thinks she is going to get pushed out bc I won't be around my dad. I asked her to go shopping with me this morning to try to help the situation and just spend some time with her. We were still in the car when she started in on my relationship with my aunt. Part of the reason I'm so close to her is that I spent a moot if time with her growing up bc my parents were always busy with my brother and sister's sports. (I am not athletic, so I was just dubbed lazy and given a hard time for it.)
My parents and siblings were supposed to come to our house on Christmas morning for a breakfast I planned for everyone, just like last year. I mentioned that I invited my aunt, uncle, and grandfather (who is spending his first Christmas without my grandmother since he was overseas in WWII) and all hell broke loose. She complained that we didn't have enough room for everyone and that no one else would want to do that. I don't get why people can't just push their chairs closer together for breakfast. Big deal. I think the illusion to "other people" is really about my dad who, for some unknown reason, has never liked my aunt. And my mom knows I really don't want him in my home at all and am tolerating him for the sake of everyone else and Christmas. The drive hoe was a screaming match and I have been in tears for the last couple of hours.
This family stuff has been crazy stressful since my grandma first went into the hospital at the very beginning of November. Since she passed, I have cried almost every day missing her and also over my position with my family (I am basically not a part of it anymore bc everyone else is willing to accept my dad's behaviors, he doesn't treat any of them the way he treats me). The holidays just magnify everything.
Sorry for the long saga. My real concern is how this stress is affecting the baby. I am 14 weeks and this has been going on since was 9 weeks. It is to the point that I am stressing over my stress level, which can't be good. My husband is great and he tries so hard to be there for me, but nothing seems to help and everything gets worse by the day...
Just realized there are a million ridiculous typos in that. Trying to type quickly on a tablet does not work well.
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