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December 31st, 2012, 05:09 AM
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LifesGood LifesGood is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,937
Hi I'm Carrie. I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and in September of this year I found out that I was pregnant with our much wanted 3rd. The pregnancy was only a little different in that my morning sickness was less and that I lost a lot of weight. But emotionally I was feeling different in wasn't bonding right and I was havin issues sticking to the diet I have to be on when I am pregnant which is not like me.

At 12 weeks I did the ips screening which is the NT scan for the neck measurement and blood work at week 12 and 15. 2 days after the 12 week scan and blood work I got called in to my OB and referred to the hospital for genetic counselling.

My risk for having a baby with Down's syndrome was about 1 in 1000 due to my age but with my NT measurement and first blood work there was now a 50/50 chance.

We opted for an amnio in mid December at 15 weeks and 2 days later found out my baby girl whom I named Leigha, did indeed have Down's syndrome. DH and I both felt that we would not be able to take care of Leigha properly and chose to end the pregnancy in the most humane way possible.

On December 22nd I was admitted to the hospital and dosed every 4 hours with drugs to cause labour. Leigha was born sleeping at 1:03pm on December 23. I held her and cried then we gave her back. We went home that day without my baby

The guilt is so strong that I think I have put up some sort of wall that is stopping me from fully processing what I just did and that I will never be bringing Leigha home
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