View Single Post
December 31st, 2012, 02:13 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Ive been meaning to come update, but just sit and cry instead, lol.
I am MISERABLE. I am pretty confident I am having a dysfunctional labor and cant get anyone to listen to me except J. My Doctor was out this last appointment due to the holiday and the fill in treated me like a cry baby.
I actually have a few chronic problems that come with a lot of pain, so my tolerance is quite high. So, for me to complain, its a big deal. J knows this and is worried no one is listening.
I always advocate to my patients that THEY know their bodies best and THEY will be the ones to know when something isnt right, and they need to speak up when they feel that way. Well, it does no good when it falls on deaf ears. I have been having HARD contractions for about a week (stop you in your tracks, you cant speak, contractions.) and they will get as close as 12 minutes apart. But, then they will stop progressing and become irregular again. If one more person tells me they're braxton hicks, Im going to punch them in the nose. These are the real deal. We were able to catch a few on the monitor and they are well over a minute in length and curving like a "real" contraction. These are no braxton hicks.
I have had to have multiple d&c's in the past, as my body doesn't rid itself of tissue effectively during my periods (sorry, TMI here) and I know that I do not dilate and cervidil and other drugs don't help. I always have to be manually dilated by the doctor, and have been worried this entire pregnancy about my body not dilating, and being in prolonged labor. I NEVER imagined I would be contracting so hard for a week and a half... I really feel like my body is trying so hard to begin labor and just cant. I have had multiple d&c's as I said, as well as other uterine surgeries. I am legit worried my uterus just isnt strong enough to do what it has to do, and now after a week and a half of this, it's even weaker yet.
I tell this to the doc who filled in for the holiday and he was like "Oh, you're a nurse right?" - basically saying you think you know whats going on but I'M a doctor and a million times smarter. (He just had that heir about him too, I could just tell he was a holier than thou doc) and said the famous line .... "Babies come when they want to come." Ummm, not always, thats why we have c-sections and inductions a**wipe.
I have all the signs of early labor and am praying praying praying my membranes rupture so I can finally get into the hospital and they HAVE to take me seriously. I feel like no one understands that I am having serious issues here. My body can't possibly keep this up. I am so worn down. My SPD is soooo bad, if I sit or lay for more than half an hour, I am in SEVERE pain when I stand up. Peeing in the middle of the night is a nightmare. Last night I seriously debated crawling to the bathroom because the pain was that intense. I am so glad its only 9 feet away or I would seriously camp out next to the bathroom.
Physically and emotionally I have had it. I am sleep deprived, in pain, and pissed no one will listen to me. Everyone treats me like another whiney preggo just ready to have their baby. People have actually told me to buck up, and some rolled their eyes at me.... I feel SO unsupported. All I have is J. My parents are treating me like a whiner too.... I spent Christmas day alone because they were being rude. We usually open gifts from each other the night of the 24th and santa comes overnight... the 24th was low key and quiet, it was hard not having Ben with us. That night I had a lot of contractions, couldnt sleep and was up all night... I went to my parents early to be there when my nephew woke up. He opened his presents and we played a bit, and my mom made an egg bake. I cant stand egg bake, so I rooted around for something I could eat, I was starving at this point. There wasnt much there and I mentioned maybe running for donuts... both parents started telling me how picky I am and how I sit and complain all the time, and Im this and that.... so I was like screw this, and went home. They acted like I was being a brat by doing that and so I left and cried all the way home. They have never understood me and say these sorts of things all the time, but to hear it on Christmas, 9 months pregnant, sleep deprived and starving, I couldnt handle it. So I went home and had chili dogs for my christmas and did some laundry.
I am just a hot mess and a half these days... I am trying SO hard to just keep it together and get through this. I know at the most they can only make me wait another two weeks to go in and take him, but I cannot imagine two more weeks of this....I just cant.
Hope you ladies are doing well
View Public Profile
Find all posts by colette20