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January 13th, 2013, 07:03 PM
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Keakie Keakie is offline
Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
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Quote:
Originally Posted by plan4fate View Post
I think in some cases it also depends on what the Bio Mom is doing with her life. L's moved on, married to M almost a full year now. If she was single? I don't think it would be the same. She really hates when we have Reme and M's working, because she's home alone, and Reme's at a good age where you can take him where you want, do what you need so even getting out to run errands doesn't have the same appeal that it would have when he was 2 or 3. So if she didn't have M, I think she'd be less favorable in general.

Not that Reme would care. We've never told him he has to love me. He made that decision very early on, I don't think that anyone could convince him that it wasn't ok to love me.. my inlaws have tried
Maybe so. When my dsc's bm was particularly friendly (to our faces - she's never had nice things to say behind our backs) she was dating someone who bought her a lot of gifts and who adored the kids. She talked about marrying him a lot. She broke up with him because he "criticized her parenting" - in other words, he told her it hurt his feelings a little when she would get up and walk away from him to nurse my then-18ish month old dss anytime he so much as frowned, and he expressed concerned over the fact that my oldest dss (for those who have been following our story, he's my mentally ill stepchild, diagnosed with ADHD, ODD and mood disorder NOS and who has had significant violence and impulse control issues since he was 5) had once beat him (as in, my dss beat bm's ex-boyfriend) with a piece of plumbing pipe and knocked over a bookshelf in a rage one night when she left the kids with said ex-boyfriend.

But before that, she seemed somewhat happy with him and it showed in her interactions. That said, I also don't think she expected me to actually stick around, so maybe that made it easier for her to fake nice. Now that the ring has been on my finger for over a year, she probably feels a little differently. It probably doesn't help that she's still dating the guy who has zero interest in the kids and who tends to only spend time with her when they're not with her.
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