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  #15  
January 14th, 2013, 02:33 AM
beamermarie beamermarie is offline
BeamerMarie- Due Jan 2012
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Texas!
Posts: 347
Thanks again ladies. I have an NST today so we'll see what's happening. Yes, I've been using EPO and RRL tea. I now have a horrible horrible cold or flu. My husband was diagnosed with the flu last week, so it seems likely it is the flu, but I have been sick for 3 days with no fever, so I'm not so sure. I feel more sick than I can ever remember feeling. Now I'm terrified my preggers immune system will not get rid of this, and I'll end up in labor and too weak to deliver. I can barely get up a flight of stairs. I'm awake right now, at 4am, because laying down creates phlegm and insane coughing, and it hurts too bad to sleep through. I'm actually hoping she stays put a bit longer so that I can get better- assuming I get better!

But then again, if I get worse, I imagine ending up on all kinds of Schedule C drugs. I already have an RX for Tamiflu, which I refused to take (wondering if that was a good move in hindsight), and have been told to take Robitussin (Class C!) so basically I'm taking nothing my doctor is telling me to take, and trying to avoid hospitalization.

I did not get a doula because my insurance doesn't cover one. I would have splurged if I'd have realized I'd end up late, pushed towards induction, and sick. In my mind, I was going to have the model pregnancy, go into labor naturally, and sweetly refuse any meds at the hospital with no problem and the help of my mother (she's a great advocate).

I'm realizing I'm starting to feel angry about this who situation, I don't understand why I haven't been sick in 5 years, and week 41 of my pregnancy I'm at death's door. I've ALWAYS planned a natural birth, I've daydreamed about it more than even my own wedding, and now that it seeming more and more unlikely, etc.

I still could refuse the induction, but I'm really torn from all the stuff I've read about the risks of going past 42 weeks. It seems like just about the whole OB community agrees it is not OK to go past 42 weeks. Also, both grandmas are driving more than 12 hours for the induction at 42 weeks, and if I delay, I feel somehow guilty.

What a mess. I'm just really having a hard time with this all emotionally. I can't help but feel so disappointed.
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