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January 16th, 2013, 12:52 PM
TwinMamaS TwinMamaS is offline
Expecting our 1st and 2nd
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 983
January has come again and that means that my husband and I have now been TTC for a year. In the past few months I've tried taking a proactive role in getting healthy. I've joined Weight Watchers and lost over 15 pounds. I've started seeing a therapist. I've also started taking vitamins and herbal supplements to boost my fertility. My therapist did a hair analysis a couple of months ago and found that my levels of potassium and copper were deficient, which may relate to my inability to get pregnant as they are tied to reproductive hormones.

I'm trying to be positive and I realize that having a baby will be a tremendous life change that I may not be 100% ready for, but I just can't help feeling that my body is letting me down. With every new pregnancy announcement I see, I am devastated. I actually had to run to the bathroom at work yesterday to have a mini-breakdown after a friend's sonogram picture popped up on Facebook. I just want what all these other women have. I want to give my husband a child and it breaks my heart that I can't.

So since it's been a year, I'm eligible to seek fertility counseling, but I'm scared. I'm afraid of what might be wrong with me or my husband and I'm also nervous about being put on drugs. I find myself wanting to seek more holistic means instead of pumping myself full of hormones, but in the end, I will do whatever necessary.

The disappointment that comes every month has now turned to utter devastation. I feel like I have no one to talk to about this. Anyone who is not going through the same thing just says "Oh, it'll happen when the time is right" "You shouldn't get upset". I even feel uncomfortable discussing my feelings with my husband. I don't think he can't understand what it's like. Just need some encouragement. Thanks!
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