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January 17th, 2013, 05:01 AM
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: North Carolina
Hi, all! I am writing more so to vent because...well, let's face it, I have no where else to turn outside of you ladies!
As most of you may know (but I'll do a brief recap), SD7 lives with DH and I full time & we moved last summer approx. 8.5hrs away from BM. When we lived in the same neighborhood as BM, we had SD approx. 97% of the time anyway...so when we decided to move, we gave BM the option of whether she would let SD move with us....she decided to let her move. (Long story short...).....
With the move, I vowed to be the best SM/Wife/BM (to BD1) that I could be. And I've been trying pretty hard to fulfill that vow. I've made sure that SD doesn't need anything..she has everything that she wants and needs. I've done every single homework assignment with her...every project that she has had, we've done together...and I am very active in her school life (reading to her class, I am the class event planner, volunteering, surprising her for school lunch dates, etc.). I've made sure that she had extra-curricular fun outside of home as well so that she wouldn't get too bored with the everyday life of coming home to play with little sister. She's in the community choir (which she loves) and on the cheerleading squad. Soccer starts in the Spring...and she's super excited about it. She has never missed a meal, snack, etc....and she is at the top of her class! In my opinion, she's doing great....and she seemed super happy! Since DH works a lot and I am the main one with the kids most of the time, I felt like I was doing a good job.....until.....
We try to have BM call SD at least once a week if possible (although sometimes she misses a call or two). But yesterday, my DH reminded her to call SD. She called....and almost immediately, SD got on the phone and said "When am I moving with you? Get me out of here. You told me I would only be here for a few months...it's been more than that. Can you hurry up so I can move in with you?"
I have never heard more heartbroken words in my life. I felt like every effort that I've put forth, means absolutely nothing...and hasn't even been beneficial to this poor child's life. I know that at the end of the day, her heart will always lie with BD and BM...but that is fine with me. I'm not asking for any type of loyalty....I don't care about that. I've already dealt with that and realized no matter how much BM neglects her...and no matter how much I compromise to make up for it, BM will always be the only woman who counts in her life. I get that...and it's perfectly fine with me. What hurts me is that I am trying so hard to make sure she is happy and comfortable...and pretty much, I heard that I am failing. Btw, she and I talk 1:1 VERY often and she tells me that she is great and loves her new life, etc. But when she says things like that to BM, I can't help but think that she is not being truthful with me about loving the life that I am trying to give her.
Have any of you ever dealt with this kind of heartbreak before? How did you deal with it?
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