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January 28th, 2013, 11:25 AM
bbm0128 bbm0128 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 57
Hi Ingrid,

I'm in a similar situation as you and your DH. My DH & I are starting our IVF cycle soon (within 2-3 months or so) and we are also using DS for IVF. My tubes are 99% blocked and DH has some residual effects from radiation therapy.

At first, DH was 100% on board for DS... we've been looking at Xytex & the Fairfax Cryobank. It is a very weird process. We want someone who is as close to my husband as possible. We considered using his brother as DS, but as the brother had a vasectomy 5+ years ago, this wasn't really an option anymore. I was not comfortable using any of his other brothers... mostly because I don't think they would be able to not tell the rest of the family. So we decided to go the DS route. There were a few that we both thought might work, but we've eliminated because in their profiles it said that they were the father of girls or the father of boys (I know this might seem a little weird, but I felt that was trying to gender-determine our child and I didn't want to do that).

Yesterday, my husband said that he wasn't sure about DS anymore. He suggested using his half-brother (from his mother's side). I think that he is concerned with the DNA factor than just having a child. This doesn't bother me because I am adopted and share no DNA with my family. I didn't say anything because I recognized that I was taking his comment personally (because of my adoption) rather than as he intended it - concern. It's a big decision. He said he wasn't opposed to DS... I think he is having a hard time accepting that our children won't have his DNA. I'm a big believer in nurture vs. nature because of my background but I don't know how to say that to him. Suggestions would be appreciated.

I also agree with Daisee on what she has said.

Good luck and keep us posted. Feel free to message me directly since it seems we are going through this at the same time.
Brooke
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