Would you wait to talk to DH? Long!
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February 4th, 2013, 05:54 AM
Marathoning Mom to 4!
Join Date: Aug 2011
This is a tough one, Kim. I can understand why you feel like you do and totally agree with you. This has been ongoing for a while with her, and I would say that if these were my kids, I would agree that there needs to be consequences until she gets some help and makes a real change.
I can see the good and bad to both approaches. If you feel like the time crunch may get to be too much when he's back, and also if you feel like a face-to-face emotional response may cloud what you're trying to convey, I would email him. Just work on it for a while, edit and re-edit. Make sure you're conveying exactly what you need and the arguments to back them up. I, personally, tend to be able to get my thoughts across better in writing because I can edit them and get them out in a logical manner, whereas when I'm face-to-face, my emotions tend to take hold, it can get heated and I tend to cry and get flustered and it turns into more of an argument than it should be.
In the end, stress the point that you understand that this is his mother you're talking about, and it can be hard to admit when someone this close to you has a problem that needs to be confronted. However, these are also his kids. Just stress the point that nothing is more paramount than the safety of your children and this comes first above the hurt feelings of his mother, at this point. Maybe stressing that it's more about the kids' safety than anything his mother is doing can frame the argument in a manner that keeps him from getting to worked up and defensive about it no matter which way you choose to talk to him about it. (((hugs))) I know this situation isn't easy.
*~*~ Katie; Mommy to 3 fun-loving boys, one sweet little baby girl, and #5 on the way! *~*~
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