Lurker - with a question????
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February 12th, 2013, 05:37 PM
Join Date: Jun 2012
Well, everyone is different, of course. Different viewpoints. Different lives. But I'll tell you some of the things I thought, if that helps.
I'm 38-years-old. I have two girls (almost 5 and just turned 2). Never felt a burning desire for a boy. Didn't feel a burning desired for a third kid, although I did toss the idea around in my head a bit. But we were settled, in a routine. I am a SAHM and plan to homeschool. I figured it best to stop at two kids.
DH had his initial consultation for a vasectomy. *Surprise!* We discover we're pregnant. (No matter what your girlfriends in high school told you, the withdrawal method is not reliable. lol)
Terminating the pregnancy was not an option for us, so we accepted it and decided to make the most of it. Now I want this baby very much and am glad I got preggers, but the first few weeks were a little tough emotionally. At the beginning of this pregnancy, I had a lot of the same concerns as you. How would I handle three? How would it affect us financially? Would I be ancient by the time my kids were out of the house?
In the end, I realized it would all work out.
As far as money goes, I tend to think the third kid is less expensive. We have all the baby stuff we need. I threw away most of my maternity clothes, but these days I can get by in baggy t-shirts and Hubby's boxers around the house. lol We already have a car that can fit three kids, and long ago we decided our kids would either get scholarships, grants, loans, or jobs to pay for their own college. Sure, groceries and extra curricular activities can be expensive, but those are expenses that can be managed and altered to a certain degree.
As for my advanced age (and geriatric status once the last kid is out of the house), well... a couple of years either way won't make a difference anyway. My youngest just turned two. So I'll only be tacking on an extra few years of "kids in the house" time. Big deal. And besides... you never know with kids. Some leave at 18 and never come back. Others are still living with their parents at 30 years old. It'll be fine.
As for handling three kids instead of two, I actually read a lot of blogs of moms who had three kids. A lot said that adding the third was a breeze. I still worry about how we'll handle public outings (it's said it goes from man-on-man defense to zone defense), but once the baby is really moving about, the elder one will really be older and more responsible. So it all evens out, I think.
I didn't have a choice in my scenario. It was part of a bigger plan, I guess. But I still went through a lot of the same issues/thoughts that you're having. And, in the end, I've realized that another baby to love--another member of our family--will be a complete and utter blessing. How could it be anything else?
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