Please, and info / encouragment would help :(
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February 24th, 2013, 04:09 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Wow, what a lot to worry about.
I understand the dilemma since I am Catholic. (My understanding is that your families are Catholic but you are not?) Anyway, we clearly have a similar view of birth control and family. I believe that bc or sterilization is a mortal sin (aside from exceptions where you need a hysterectomy or you will die from cancer - but the sterilization in that case is a byproduct of the act which is meant to save your life). But the CC does not allow bc or tubal ligation under any circumstances... even if it's VERY important for you to avoid pregnancy.
BUT the CC does teach that you CAN use Natural Family Planning (NFP) to avoid pregnancy if you have a "grave reason."
Clearly, you have a grave reason to avoid another pregnancy, so you could learn one of the NFP methods and successfully abstain from pregnancy for the rest of your life and even your Catholic families can not (at least should not) give you a hard time about it. Using NFP for a grave medical reason is completely without sin. You would need to be diligent and careful, but it is a very good option for someone in your situation. There is no artificial birth control. There is only abstinence during times of fertility. I would recommend learning the Sympto-Thermal Method (STM of NFP). This method takes into account many factors (your basal body temp, your cervix position/opening, your mucus signs, and I even pay attention to other signs like food cravings and libido which really help). Some NFP methods only use one symptom like mucus signs to determine the fertile phase, but the STM uses many signs that help to cross-check. If you learn through The Couple to Couple League you will also have access to your instructor to ask questions, look at your chart, etc. The STM is actually VERY effective when used as intended (i.e. you don't break the rules). It's also very doable when you get used to it. You could even work with your instructor to make the rules more strict to give yourself even more piece of mind and room for error. The STM of NFP is as effective as the pill!
I actually used to be a "have as many babies as God gives you and whenever He gives them" person. That's how my first 4 babies came to be. But when I became Catholic I realized how much the CC values human life, human dignity, and family/children, just like I had all along, but yet had a reasonable answer for those who really need to avoid pregnancy for a serious reason: Natural Family Planning. No interrupting God's design for marital relations, no butchering your body, no avoiding marital relations for the rest of your life. Instead, your learn the natural phases of fertility and infertility that God has designed for your body and only have relations when you are infertile.
It would take some getting used to but would be so worth it. You could definitely have relations more than once a month!! Your instructor would probably advise you to be overly-cautious at first and then gradually allow more relations as you are more certain of your fertility signs and detecting ovulation. You can search for instructors and classes in your area:
The Couple To Couple League
Mom to Titus (12), Isaiah (10), Noelle (8), Joel (6), Hannah (4), Elijah (1), and baby due Nov 4!
Last edited by TaraJo29; February 24th, 2013 at
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