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March 3rd, 2013, 11:30 AM
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Jenilope Jenilope is offline
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I would also be livid! I don't have any experience with this, my oldest is not even 5, but I am sure that would not be ok with me.

And I'm guessing your daughter knew it would not be ok with you, too. Did you guys talk about it when she told you? Did she feel pressured to invite him since her friend was inviting her boyfriend? Did anything happen? How does she feel about it?
I totally understand wanting to make sure your daughter still trusts that she can tell you things, but I think, if I were in your shoes, my daughter would probably be punished for doing something behind my back that she knew would not be allowed. I would talk with her about it, no sense in letting that opportunity slide, and I would probably tell her that her punishment would have been much worse if you had found out about this from someone else or if she had tried to hide it from you--because you will ALWAYS eventually find out, and you want her to still talk to you about things, but she did something she knew was wrong and that has to be answered.

Then, I'd open up all over her friends' mom. And yes, I know that might be embarrassing for your daughter, but honestly, would you ever allow her to go over there again anyway, knowing the kinds of things that happen when they're being SUPERVISED? That door is now closed and locked and I would be letting that woman know how furious you are about her making that decision without contacting you, putting your daughter in that position, and, depending on the laws in your state and what happened between the kids, possibly PROCURING concerning 4 counts of statutory rape! And, although I don't want to encourage gossip, if that mother's response is anything but completely embarrassed and contrite, I would let the mothers of any other girls you know are friends with her know what goes on at their slumber parties so they can make informed decisions about what their daughters are and are not allowed to do.

I would finally also consider having you and/or your husband have a talk with the boyfriend's family--there's a chance HIS mother doesn't know what he was up to that weekend, and, if she does, she (and the boy) should know that is NOT ok with you.

Good luck with all the talking and reacting. I would be absolutely fuming, probably more so at the other mother than at my daughter, but it's definitely something that I don't think would be ok with most parents. And, even if it were ok with most parents, it's obviously not ok with you and should be addressed.
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Mom to four beautiful girls
Matilda (6), Evelyn (4), Adelaide (2), Cecily (1)



Last edited by Jenilope; March 3rd, 2013 at 11:39 AM.
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