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March 4th, 2013, 09:59 AM
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mom2more mom2more is offline
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Thanks everyone for responding! I have been stewing over this for days now with hubby. What we decided was to not let our daughter go to that friends house again. They can hang out here and have sleepovers here where we know they will be supervised. We are not going to punish her for telling us about this. We feel like it would have been a hard situation for her to get out of. I did have a talk with her to let her know that this is not something we would have allowed and we are very upset that it happened.

I told her that because she was honest and told me about it we are not punishing her. But that in the future we don't want her to be a part of this. If she is at a friend's house and something is going on that we would not approve of/or she knows she should not be doing (boy sleepovers, drinking, drugs, etc.) we expect her to get out of the situation. We talked about how to get out of that situation if she isn't comfortable saying that she is not okay with what is going on. Play sick or pretend we just called and she is calling us back. Whatever she needs to do to leave. We will pick her up anytime and anywhere. Because if she does something like this again there will be consequences.

As for the friend's mom we just are not going to approach her about it. Not even a year ago the friend's dad and brother were killed in a car accident. It devastated them. They have been through a lot since then. They have been in counseling and on mood medications. Prior to that I know that this type of thing would have never happened in their home. So, I just don't want to even approach this with the mom.

So we just told our daughter that we don't like the choices the mom is making for her daughter and we don't feel comfortable with her making choices for ours. So that is why we are not allowing her to go there anymore. If our daughter tells her friend and it gets back to her mom so be it. If the mom contacts me about that then I will tell her how we felt about the sleepover.

As for contacting other parents, our daughter and her are friends but they don't hang out in the same circle. So none of our daughters other friends go to that house. And our daughter and her boyfriend broke up since then, so there is no need to talk to his family now. I am pretty sure they didn't know he was sleeping there, they must have thought he was sleeping at one of his male friends homes.
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