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March 14th, 2013, 11:17 PM
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plan4fate plan4fate is offline
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Location: Wisconsin
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I said I'd post this so you all could get caught up.

In fall of 2011, my DH's job took him down to the area he grew up in. So we packed up what we needed, and moved into a hotel an hour away, then moved into an apartment close to his job (we took over his cousin's lease for a month so she could arrange for storage of her things after losing her job).

Thanksgiving was coming up, and Dh wanted Reme to come down. So he got in touch with his ex wife, to see if it was ok if I drove up and got him, and then brought him back. She said no, that was silly, she'd meet me half way. A few days later I got the heads up that my SIL's and MIL now wanted to be the ones to drive up and get him... but they couldn't afford it so they were going to ask DH to give them the money, so that way I wouldn't be inconvenienced on getting Reme. *rolls eyes*.

Dh sent his mom a text saying no, we had the required equipment in our car already to get him, and I would do it.

I then got another heads up, my SIL's wanted to come with. Ok, this I could live with... except they are smokers.. and I was just over a cough that had lasted 6 weeks and there was no way I was going to be able to handle it. So I went to my SIL Sarah's workplace (MIL works there too) and said "look, you can come with me, but here's the thing. I'm just getting over being sick, I am just getting to the point I can breathe. You can't smoke. I don't mean just not in the car, I mean not at all. You shower before you get in the car, and you can smoke when you get home."

Well they thought I was being silly. And told me so. I told them that was the only way I was taking them with me. So my SIL said "that's fine, we will go get him, Woody will give us the money." I wasn't really comfortable having this conversation, but DH was working 10 hours a day 6 days a week and really didn't have the energy either.. so I persisted and said. "No, I'm sorry, the plans are made, I'll be meeting L half way."

SIL said "why would you drive all that way, just to drop him off at our house on your way home?"

And I paused. The whole reason Reme was coming down was to see his father. Seeing them was just an added bonus. At that point, I put my foot in my mouth, totally out of patience and said "um, no. Woody has x day off, and Reme will be spending that day with his dad. He works 10hrs every other day that he's here, so that day is his."

"Excuse me? We took x day off, so we could spend it with him. We never get to see him, he will be with us. I don't know why I'm arguing with you over this, you get no say, you don't matter. We will deal with L she will tell you what's going to happen and when. We will talk to Woody. So get out of the store, and out of my face. You have a baby and you can try and boss us around then. I don't know who the hell you think you are. You're nothing but a gold digger who ruined their marriage. I can't wait for you to go the hell back to Canada where you came from." I should note, they didn't know we were married at the time.

I left the store, drove to the closest town with cell service and called his ex. Told her what happened. She was livid. She told me to tell Woody, and to get a hold of her the next day and we'd come up with a plan.

I then picked Woody up from work. I was sitting in the car, still crying from the whole situation. I explained what happened, he told me to get in the passengers seat, and he dove to the store they work at, they were gone. So we stopped by McDonalds and took off to the farm. We pulled in right behind them.

He jumped out, walked up to the side of the car and said "you wanted to talk to me? Well I'm right here, and I'm the one who's going to do the talking."

Next thing I know DH's on the ground, and he's holding his leg with one hand, and his other hand is protecting his face. His sister had tried to kick him in the balls, and scratched at his face with her nails. I was still in the car, I refused to get out. They yelled back and forth, his mom got involved, so did the other sister. My BIL came out to put an end to the BS, and my FIL got in the middle and reminded them they were being stupid, and for the girls to go in the house.

MIL tried to talk to DH, saying that I'd made it all up, that I was just trying to cause trouble, to keep Reme away from them all. He was quick to inform HE doesn't want to bring Reme down, that HE doesn't want to be there.. that it is ME insisting that it's important for him to see them on a regular basis, ME who was making him make an effort. But now they were screwed because there was no way in hell after that I was going to go out of my way to do anything for them.

Well.. things got worse. I got a hold of DH's cousin that night, to clue her in, she told me she knew, because MIL had called Grandma, and she'd been with and heard most of the conversation. But she wanted to know OUR version. So I told her.

We had to go to Gma's and Gpas the next night, and DHmade a comment about what happened.. and his grandmother was upset, and walked out. Gpa told us not to ask, and to go find the cousin.


Well MIL and SIL told Gma and Gpa that DH had attacked SIL, that he'd hit her, kicked her, strangled her. That he'd hit MIL, pushed FIL and had body slammed BIL into the ground. Well at this point, he was pissed, but laughing so hard he couldn't see straight. DH is 6'1", 210lbs. Bil is about 5'10" 310lbs... the idea of DH bodyslamming him is beyond hilarious. So Dh went back to his grandparents and told them, "If She's telling the truth, tell her to call the police. She wont call, because I didn't lay a hand on her and any marks she has would not match my hands." Then he showed them the foot size bruise on his thigh.

Back to the story. Dh and L decided that Reme wasn't coming down. Instead after DH got off work the day before Thanksgiving we got in the car (which I'd half packed with our stuff because we found out we were 10 days from the end of the job) and drove the 10 hours to our apartment, slept for a few hours, then got up and cooked thanksgiving dinner for L, Reme Dh and I. Did some black Friday shopping, and headed back to the job for a few more days.

MIL, and SIL's have never forgiven us for it. I actually didn't see them again until we picked up his trailer from their property. MIL came out, so did BIL... he and DH had a good laugh when DH apologized for the apparently body slamming. I even made L feel liberated... she doesn't feel obliged to be at their beck and call anymore.





So that's what happened between my Inlaws and me. All I did was stand up for DH's rights as a father who missed his son more than anything else in the world and wanted to spend the ONE day he'd have off work with him... but that was just too much for his family... they wanted it their way.

SIL's would even accept my "I'm so sorry for your loss" at their grandmother's funeral. I got half of it out and they turned around and walked away.
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