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March 20th, 2013, 05:58 PM
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alittlelost alittlelost is offline
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So I think I've talked quite a bit about my daughter's involvement in gymnastics...

Right now, I'm in a situation where I'm kind of torn.

My daughter has an opportunity to go to another gym and possibly skip a level, which is my daughter's goal because she has been bored for a year now due to being placed in a level where she already knows all the skills. There's no challenge there. Now, when I was a kid, I liked easy but my daughter likes new things and challenges.

My view: It's good to her to have it easy. Then she can work on perfecting her skills. She's the best on her team and does great at competitions, which is a huge confidence booster. And, I'm happy to say, she's modest about it. She's happy she does well but she doesn't compare herself to others or get conceited about it. She always looks for ways to improve for next time. The gym she is at now is cheaper and WAY closer (the other gym is twice as far and twice as much money)! We can afford either, so it's not a huge deal, but I admit it's something I think about. I love the people there--the coaches, the moms to the other girls in her group, etc.

My daughter's view: She's bored. She doesn't care if she's not the best in her group. She doesn't care if competition is harder. She wants to be challenged. She has even said "I don't want to be moved so far up that it's TOO hard or scary, I just want it to be a little harder so it's not boring." So, I can admire that. She's driven, she has goals, but she seems to know her limits. She doesn't want to set herself up for failure BUT she doesn't want things to be too easy, either.

Other things to consider. We pay an extra $120 a month now for her to take private classes so she can get an extra 1/2 hour a week to work on more challenging skills. So really, the price difference isn't THAT much since at the new gym she would get like 4 more hours a week and the skills would be challenging so she wouldn't need the privates (she'd be working on all week what she works on in private classes now) So when you look at it, it's really only like $30 more a month. She also wants to spend more time in the gym, which would be the case at the new gym.

We discussed this with her at length.

Example:
Us: Do you want to spend most of your time in summer camp playing or working?
Her: Playing
Us: Well, if you go to the new gym to be in level 4, you'd need to work more than play. It's up to you what you want to do. We can do more play and go into level 3 or do more work and go into level 4. Either one is fine.
Her: Then I want to work more.
Us: So you rather work more than play and go into level 4?
Her: Yes.

Example 2:
Us: Do you like the girls in this gym?
Her: Yes.
Us: Would you miss them if you went to a different team?
Her: Yes.
Us: Well, you understand that if you go to a new gym, you will be leaving your friends. Would you rather stay with your friends or go to level 4?
Her: Go to level 4.

Note: We've been in a similar situation with her before. She wanted to go onto the team, BUT she loved her old coach and didn't want to leave her. The gym she is at now gave her a choice: Go on the team, without your current coach, or stay with your current coach, but not on the team. She chose team, and she's been happy with that choice. She really surprised us all that she was ready for that, because she was pretty clingy to her old coach and previously REFUSED to work with the team coach. So, I do trust that she is good at knowing what sacrifices she wants to make to reach her goals, and she seems happy in the end with her decisions.

We showed her the skills they would work on if she switched to see how she felt about the idea of them. We asked if some might be scary to try, and she said if anything was scary she would just try until it wasn't scary anymore. So, she is pretty determined and has not been shaken once from her decision that she wants to be on level 4 and is bored where she is (and level 3 she knows will be boring too because she's seen what level 3 does and she already knows those skills, too).

So, I guess part of me realizes that what is best for HER is to move gyms. But I feel like what *I* want is to stay where we are, because I like the people and don't want them to be mad at us for switching gyms. I know that is ridiculous of me and it's not about me in this case, it's about her. I know that most likely, if her evaluation goes well at the new gym, we will move her. I always said I would support her goals in this. But I have to admit I'm having some selfish feelings about all this. I like her being the best on her team, even though she doesn't care. I like her scoring high at competition, even though she doesn't care. And I certainly don't want her to get those feelings from me, because I know they are pretty petty feelings to have (I blame it on just being a proud mama...). I like the people, I like the gym, my husband likes the convenience of the place, etc etc. But we know we have to move gyms eventually because our daughter wants to move at her own pace and the gym we are at now is very systematic, so that won't happen where we are. We just didn't plan to make the move this soon.

So, any thoughts, support, and advice are appreciated here.
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