Need support/advice (long)
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March 20th, 2013, 08:08 PM
Join Date: Aug 2010
When I had just turned 15, I went away to a boarding school to do a few fun summer classes as an "away from home" experience for the summer (6weeks I think). While I was there I realized that this was the school I needed to be at, not my old high school back home. I told my parents I wanted to go for the school year, my dad flat out said no. I cried and freaked out and he finally said I would need 50% financial aid, which we wouldn't qualify for based on need, but he was not going to pay for more than that. I went down to the admissions office and took their tests for merit based aid and I pretty much knew I'd scored close to 100%. I told the admissions counselor what my dad had said and how I really wanted to go. Lo and behold, I managed to get the aid... I have always been a great test taker and the counselor was really impressed by my motivation and desire to go there. So first my dad said he wasn't sure. Now this was insane, he has ALWAYS honored his deals with us kids and there was no way he could back out honorably. He confessed that he didn't realize they had merit aid like that available and didn't think I'd actually get it. The school was in Massachusetts and I am from California so this was clear across the country, he said it was too far. I did have the quiet support of my mom and then surprisingly, my grandmother, my dad's mom, M's namesake. She told him, "you can't keep her here. She is her own person and you have to let her fly and not keep her in a cage." She was not someone who I expected to have a strong opinion but apparently she really gave my dad an earful about it. So he relented and off I went. And I absolutely think it was a huge turning point for me and I may have ended up in a really bad state if I had stayed so frustrated at home.
Your daughter is really young but she is absolutely 100% clear on what she wants and seems totally certain. I think in that case all you can do is support her in her journey. I think you already know that you will... it's just hard. I can only imagine being the parent in that situation... when you were describing your conversations with her, I was totally imagining myself in her shoes and remembering myself at 15. But my dad loves me a lot and it was hard for him to let me go, in the end he did, and now look at me, permanently settled in my old neighborhood and around all the time
so maybe you will get back some of what you are worried about missing, too, later on.
Hope that helps a little. Your daughter sounds very driven, you should be proud of that, she is great at knowing what she wants and how to work for it even at a young age.
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