"Age-appropriate"? I need input
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March 21st, 2013, 02:16 PM
Join Date: Aug 2010
I have gotten to that age yet with my LO(s) so I can't speak from experience. But I do want to tell you about my nephew bc he had a VERY similar resistance to potty learning at that age. He is a very smart kid and not overtly willful but very much the passive resistance type... he just totally refused and wanted diapers instead. My SIL thought basically "oh well, let him wear diapers then" and the preschool was okay with it and everything. We all figured the peer pressure at school would get him to come around as fewer and fewer kids were still in diapers at his age. Well basically what happened is he started holding his poop a lot so that he wouldn't need a diaper change, he started feeling embarrassed by them, but also wouldn't have to give in and use the potty. Over a year or so he slowly developed serious chronic constipation and a distended colon and now he HAS to stay in diapers/pull-ups bc he is on laxatives to allow his colon to heal, and lacks bowel control. The laxatives started just after age 4 and he will be on them until he is 5. I was shocked bc I had heard about such things occurring with babies who were harshly potty trained before they had proper muscle control or whatever, but never with kids whose parents had gone slow and not pushed them at all. This is probably a really unlikely scenario for you bc my nephew's personality is very distinctive and it is not like a common thing... but just maybe something to watch for as the worst that could happen. I honestly think if I were you (what I plan to do with M when she outgrows her diapers if she is still not PLed) is just make the switch to underwear full time all day. Since you have cloth diapers you can make a big show of packing Liam's up and not having them out anymore. And be prepared for a whole bunch of nasty accidents... but eventually he will get the picture you are serious and you can do some rewards/excitement when he does use the potty but focus mainly on how this is the new order of things and there is no chance of going back. I know with baby girl on the way this will not be something you want to do anytime soon, I wouldn't in your shoes!, but it is there as a last resort, like maybe when he turns 4 or something it can be "4 year olds don't wear diapers".
I also have personal memories of my little brother's pacifier goodbye ceremony. He was 4 or so I think. We got them all together and said goodbye and took them to the trash. It was funereal and very solemn, he cried but was resigned, and then I think he got a new Ernie doll or something for being so brave. Not sure if that would work since Liam can just grab Keiran's though... but there are plenty of kids out there who have trouble giving up pacis, so don't feel bad!!!
Good luck mama. It sounds like Liam is doing great overall so don't beat yourself up over these two little things. As they say, he won't be going to college in diapers and with a paci
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