keep the baby or not
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March 22nd, 2013, 07:51 AM
Loving every minute.
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Atlantic Canada
I think all of those saying "you'll never regret having the baby" need to look at the situation from that child's perspective. Simply saying things like, "god will provide" is malarky. I am Anglican and I know better than to throw around stuff like that. I grew up in a pretty crappy situation for a chunk of my life, and while I am glad I was born and not aborted, I do wish I had more responsible parents, to this day.
Babies are precious, sure, but they grow up to be adults based on their life experiences. Like someone else said, she has seen the result of unwanted children being brought into the world, and it's heartbreaking. I am by NO MEANS saying this is the case with the OP though, I personally think she's more than ready to raise her child in the best way she knows!
The original poster herself has struggled with the pain of a broken home. That is obviously a big deal to her and she doesn't want her child to go through that.
That being said, I
think that she has the means of providing for this child. It's such a personal decision. Unfortunately, we cannot be the ones to tell her what the "right" decision is. I think that because of her experience, she will have the knowledge to raise this child and be re-assuring. She will be able to address all the possible feelings that the child may have if the father doesn't remain involved or with her. I think with counseling, she can be well equipt to raise this child to be a happy and well adjusted kid. From the post above, it sounds like the OP is really edging towards keeping the baby and only considering abortion because the daddy is requesting it. Personally, I think the OP should keep the baby, but only she can make that choice.
Yes, children are wonderful, they are blessings. Yes it's a great feeling to be a mom, but it's not all rainbows and sunshine. It's very challenging, even when two parents are involved.
Similarly, abortion is not an easy choice. With either decision there will be a lot to struggle and work through.
As a side note, the relationship with the father of the baby does sound a bit jittery. There are obvious issues that need working out. My husband and I got married at 25/26. We had been together for 8 years at that point. I can totally understand how this guy feels unready for marriage, and that needs to be respected. It's a BIG decision. From how you (the original poster) describe yourself, I can see how he feels very pressured by you wanting marriage/engagement so soon. THat's probably a result of your insecurities about abandonment. Have you ever seen a therapist or counselor about these feelings? I would try to find other ways to navigate those feelings, as the pressure to get married and insecurities in a relationship can be enough to drive even the best guy far, far away. Guys get freaked out by that stuff. Even at 5 years together, my hubs was freaked out about marriage.. lol
No matter what your decision, I do hope that you will consider finding help to deal with your trust and abandonment issues. If not, they will seriously cause a lot of pain in your life, and you deserve to be happy!
Thank-you Bokkechick for the beautiful siggy
Proud mama to Audrina (10-10-2011) & Bryden (09-19-2014)
Waiting to Try to Conceive
Sept 2014 DDC
Last edited by Urchin; March 22nd, 2013 at
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