Topic: How are you?
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  #5  
March 22nd, 2013, 12:50 PM
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lelila lelila is online now
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,865
A tattoo is a nice idea, but with the weight I'm gaining, a tiny pair of wings will look like a pterodactyl in no time.

I work full time from home, and that keeps me pretty busy. We have a small farm and I just started my seeds for the garden. We also just got our birds for this year (chickens) so I have alot to do with our current flock and our new flock between feeding, cleaning and playing with the baby chicks. Plus we have to cats and two hunting beagles.

And of course, my sweet 7 yr old son, who makes me laugh and keeps me guessing. He is always my focus. My poor husband takes the back burner most days.

If there is a spare minute where I get stuck and start to cry, I just grab a laundry basket and do a load of laundry, or do the dishes, or clean something - there is always a chore to do around here. I try to avoid sitting still for more than a minute or two. My mind wanders and I get sad instantly.

I hate myself for it, but I don't want anything to remember the baby. I had pictures of the Positive HPT and I ditched them. I had our first Sonogram where we saw the heartbeat and I hid them away. I had a Big Brother shirt for my son and I buried it in a box in the attic. I hate the reminders. I want to pretend it never happened - like somehow that'll lesson my chances of happening a third time. Fat chance.

I guess right now I'm in the denial stage.
__________________
Leia 40 yrs young

Wife to Big Bull 39
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

Never Forgetting our Angels 2012, 2013
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