More from me... *miscarriage mentioned*
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March 23rd, 2013, 05:31 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Upstate, NY
Thank you so much to everyone for all the nice things you said. And thank you to all of you for the way you have supported me when I needed it. It really means so much to me.
I'm sorry I didn't write more yesterday. I needed some time. I'm also so sorry that I forgot to label it with miscarriage mentioned, I hope no one was upset by that!
Luckily, this was my ex's weekend with the kids, so I needed to try to stay together while we drove them down, too.
I've had more time, and have gotten to cry alot, and some good talking with Tom and I'm feeling a bit better.
Basically they did the scan and they said the baby hadn't grown past 7 weeks, and that there was no cardiac activity. Baby must have passed very shortly after my last scan. They are sure, and without any growth at all, I feel confident that they didn't make a mistake. Really, they have been negative about how things looked from the first scan at 6 weeks, so I should have expected it.
Since it's been about two weeks, and I haven't even had a spot, and my hormones are still high, he felt that the wait for my body to pass things naturally could be long, and he said that that could be bad for me too. He was certainly open to not doing the d&c and waiting if I wanted to, but Ijust want this over with. My body isn't normal when it comes to expelling anything in there anyway, so I might as well have the surgery and move on.
I just feel like jeez, as if this isn't bad enough, they have to do surgery?? I wish I didn't, but I just want it over.
As far as our TTC journey. Well really, the only good news to come out of this is we know we
get pregnant. In four years, this was our first positive test. We aren't giving up. We still want our together baby. It might be the wrong time to be thinking of it, but what's getting me through things right now, is knowing it's possible, and that we can try again. The dr was pretty sure it wasn't our problem, or anything we did, so he said we can try again. As long as everything is ok on Tuesday, he said he will help us do more clomid cycles in just 6 weeks. It's going to feel like a long time, but it's really not. Ironically, 6 weeks from then will fall almost exactly on our fourth year anniversary of TTC.
So I am back with you ladies here. At least I always have my sisters here. It seems we understand our hard times and losses better than most women. You ALWAYS make me feel cared about and supported. And you have the best advice. Thank you again ladies for everything you do and say to me.
Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan (14), ds Marcus (12), Our new baby Dean
I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26
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