On the edge
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March 24th, 2013, 11:15 AM
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: New Germany, MN
You sound exactly like me last year. My husband and I have been together for 13 years. I'm 30 and he is 29. We were not interested in kids at all and it was a plan that if I ever got pregnant I would get an abortion. I am 100% pro choice myself. After 12 years of being together and never getting pregnant (we did use birth control off and on) I ended up getting pregnant.
I was so adamant that I was going to get an abortion if I ever got pregnant before this. But the moment I found out I was pregnant everything changed. We were both terrified (even though we are older than you lol) We decided to keep the baby.
I absolutely love my daughter. I am so glad that I didn't get an abortion, but I am still pro choice. Honestly though, It's not always roses and sunshine during an unplanned pregnancy and taking care of an unplanned child. I would never trade her for anything in the world but it was a hard road to get to that point.
Olivia was always well cared for since day one. I want to make that very clear. But It took me about 4 months to bond with her. The whole notion of immediately falling in complete love with a baby as soon as that baby is placed on your chest in the delivery room isn't a given for every mom. She looked at me and I was in shock actually. I had a hard time in the beginning wrestling my emotions. about 2 months after she was born, postpartum depression set in hard.
I am not trying to scare you at all. I do think it would be helpful to know that any emotions you may feel are all normal. I felt scared, alone, angry, happy, joyful. the whole gamut of everything. even if you have a different situation and bond instantly, it's normal. It sounds like you have a great network of support too. Your mom may be angry for a moment that you are pregnant, but I bet you money she will absolutely relish being a grandmother.
It sounds cliche, but things happen to work out after a baby. I don't know how but they do. My husband and I were struggling financially and I have $56,000 of student loan debt myself. Now my husband got a better paying job and I stay at home caring for my LO.
If YOU feel you are ready to give this child a loving and caring home, go ahead and keep the baby. It will be hard at first, but the first time Olivia smiled at me when she was about 4 months old and meant it, made everything I did for her and the sacrifices I made for her all completely worth it.
I would absolutely do it all over again.
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