o/t vent & plea
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March 28th, 2013, 08:50 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
So I log into facebook today, and I see a beautiful wall post that my friend posted and I had to re-post. It's apparently special needs/autism/adhd awareness week. I spent a good 10 minutes, and still am, crying about this subject. Maybe it's because I'm pregnant but I don't think so. This topic touches my heart greatly. I am an adult with mental illness. I believe 2 of my children have mental illness but it's too early to tell. I have to wait until puberty according to their doctors. I struggle each and every day with it and I honestly try to hide it because I'm tired of the labels. I'm tired of being called "crazy," "wild," "not all there," "worthless," being told "you'll never make something of your life because you're nuts," the list goes on and on. I was told I was "crazy" from a very young age and NO ONE corrected it. My mother encouraged it and never advocated for me. It's taken me 24 years to finally break through the label and I STILL have people call me "crazy" on a daily basis, not because I do anything "crazy," nor have I in years, but because of my past and the label that has followed me. You have no idea how much this hurts unless you have a label like that follow you your whole life. It destroys your self esteem, your thought process, your way of looking at things. It's hard. I avoid trying to meet new people because of it. I avoid telling people I have mental illness because of it. I haven't presued my dream job because I'm afraid of the rejection. I'm afraid of someone saying "We found out you have mental illness. You can not work with the mentally ill. You can't help others who are like you because you're "nuts." It's a very real fear. It's very damaging and I don't think a lot of people know how damaging it really is. I don't post a lot of comments or share my facebook page because I'm afraid of being judged so cruely as I have been a majority of my life, because of my mental illness, which is part of who I am. I've been in treatment for the better part of 13 years by the way.
My point with this whole post isn't to gain sympathy, make you fear me or think less of me, just simply to educate. If you have a child with special needs or mental illness, PLEASE be their advocate. PLEASE don't let them be bullied like I was and still am. Please teach them that labels mean nothing and they're beautiful. Teach them their illness/disability does not define them. THEY define their illness. If you hear they're getting labeled at school, if you aren't comfortable going there to defend your child, imagine their discomfort they feel every day and PLEASE over come it for them. No child deserves to grow up with labels or stigma associated with illness. They last their ENTIRE life and it's heck trying to get rid of the labels and show people who you really are under the label that they think you are.
If I made any of you uncomfortable, it wasn't my intention. If I hurt anyone's feelings because they don't advocate for their child, which I hope I don't, you can change! Start today! This minute, right now. Simply tell your child they're beautiful and you love them no matter what. If they come to you and say "Mommy, so and so said I'm (insert whatever cruel thing children and adults can come up with here)" Tell them that there's no way others see them like this, especially you. Tell them they're their name, not whatever the rude, cruel person said,` and hold them extra tight.
If you don't, they could end up like me: Struggling to walk through life destroying labels others made for me before getting to know who I really am, avoiding relationships due to fear, and no one wants their child to go through life like that. I know I don't. Our children need our love, guidance and help, not ridicule. Thank you.
Wife of Tim
; Mom to -
(2 months) and Step mom
"No freedom til' we're equal. D*mn right I support it." - Macklemore "Same love"
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