TTC after a loss ~ how did you make the decision?
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April 3rd, 2013, 08:12 PM
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Southwest, Missouri
When we first knew we were going to lose our Everleigh at 17 weeks in December I instantly told DH, and he agreed, that we was done. I didn't want to try again. I couldn't imagine going through morning sickness again, possibly losing another baby, etc. We were already so far out of the baby stage. Starting over was just so overwhelming.
By the time we found out we actually lost her, I said maybe another year or two. But not right away.
The night we left the hospital after the induction I told DH I wanted to try again this summer. He wasn't so sure. He thought it was too soon for him.
Within a week we both came to the realization we wanted to try again right away. A lot of it had to do with watching DH with our 7 month old nephew. I couldn't imagine just being done with the baby stage after seeing that. And he came to that same realization while holding him that night.
It's super scary. I'm waaaaay more paranoid this time around than I ever was before. And I definitely think we are done after this one because I just didn't realize how hard it would be emotionally. Granted, I realize some of it may be because we did get pregnant again right away. But still....
For us it came down to, not replacing her, but realizing we had SO much love to give a baby. We realized that no matter how scary another pregnancy would be IT WOULD BE WORTH IT. It's kinda like when a person loses there spouse after many, many years marries again. They don't marry again because they want to replace this person. They marry again because the joy they had with that person was so worth it despite the pain and heartache of losing that person. And to feel any sort of joy like that again was a way to honor them.
It gives me hope. Not to replace my baby. Believe me, it does not solve my heartache for her in the least. The pain is still very fresh. But there has been a lot of healing that has come with this baby. It honors the baby we lost. I so wish everyone could experience that when they are ready.
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