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April 5th, 2013, 11:13 PM
muffin muffin is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 4,994
Welcome!

Firstly, it's good that you're charting! Even with whacky cycles, the fact that you're [attempting] to pinpoint when you're ovulating is the best thing that you can do without going into further testing. I'm assuming that you're using OPKs as well, since you mentioned that you've "geared up" to O but haven't? that's good too, since it tells you the best time for sex to increase your chances. (Who wants to have to time sex for every other day? Not this gal!)

Another thing you mentioned is lube. That will actually kill sperm and also make it harder for them to move. Even if it's not spermicidal lube! Get rid of it. If you still need something, there's a product called PreSeed that is sperm-friendly. (We all need a little help sometimes )

Paying out of pocket sucks. Mostly because you see women around you get pregnant all the time, but they don't have to pay for it, so why should you? I mean, life just isn't fair! Why should one person have to pay and another not? Who makes this decision? No way around it. It blows. Big time. Testing is expensive, but it's really the only way to find out what it is that is missing piece of the puzzle. You mentioned bloodoword, but what day of your cycle was it on? (That can make a difference!) What hormones were they testing? Will you be covered under your fiances insurance once you're married? Have you looked into what procedures would be covered once you are under his?

Finally, it's not necessarily one person or another. It's an issue that you're facing together, so you shouldn't place blame on yourself (or him). Even if he has kids from a previous marriage, it doesn't mean that he can't have issues now. (My DHs numbers have been dropping at an alarming rate with no explanation as to why. Yet we've managed to get pregnant twice in the past - one child though.) We always assumed that we had mostly female fertility issues, since we already knew about my whacky cycles, but it turns out that wasn't the case! A semen analysis is actually the cheapest test that any doctor will run for fertility, and can rule out half of any potential issues. If you want, that's a good place to start. From there, I'd ask for CD3 blood tests for you. Then you can decide if it's worth it to pursue further testing, or wait until you can afford it / have insurance to cover it.

It's OK to have days like that. We all go through it! I hope that you guys are able to figure something out soon!
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Due with #2 after 5 years of TTCMA. FET #1 after IVF #2 and immune therapy was just the ticket apparently!
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