Topic: Tarquin
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April 6th, 2013, 05:18 AM
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Carwen*Angel Carwen*Angel is offline
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So the conversation I had with Terri the other week, really touched me and shifted my perspective.

We discussed a lot about ego and how the fear we feel that causes hesitation, apprehension, confusion, feeling trapped or in lack, derives from the ego - to my understanding, the human mind part of us as opposed to the soul or higher self.

She told me to name my ego and give it a good talking to. That slimy little voice inside my head that tells me "you can't do this" or "this is not possible" or "you're not good enough" or "you don't HAVE enough" has always been male to me. I told her he had a feeling of a male yuppie who's completely materialistic-oreinted.

I decided to name him Tarquin, a name that comes from a standing joke with my dad in the past about a huge spider who used to live under the settee (and you guys know I hate spiders, right?). Tarquin is currently locked away in a damp basement gagged and tied to a chair having been told in no uncertain terms to shut the f up.

After I spoke to Terri for about a week after doing this I felt such a sense of peace and trust that I had never known, and stopped procrastinating over making time to meditate as well. Eventually I mentally took away the gag and the bonds and let him shout away to himself in this faraway basement in my mind. But then last week those slimy little thoughts started coming back in my head, so I repeated the exercise. She did say he wouldn't go down without a fight!!

I just wanted to share about it now I've been doing it for a few weeks, because it really works for me. It's taken a whole load off my mind and I am far more "in the flow" regarding major decisions and life purpose now. I can't say it's improved my physical energy/healing yet - I think I'm in some sort of healing crisis at present and am physically aching/headachey most of the time - but I think it will over time. It really does seem as if fear comes from the ego and it IS possible to override that part of you by seeing it as a separate entity. It is, in many ways, because it's separate from that timeless and eternal part of you which is your soul or higher self. The way I see it, anyway.

I'll keep you posted on the battle between Tarquin and Silverla but I just thought I would share up to now.

And when Terri gives you advice on this sort of thing, please please please do listen because this lady knows what she is talking about.
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