Just Need To Vent
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April 17th, 2013, 06:44 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Oh hugs to you! Wow I wish I could sit down with a warm cup of tea and tell you my story.
I fell madly in love with a man several years ago, we worked together. There were signs here and there but it took me a while to understand the full truth. He was an AMAZING person. Good through and through and so kind to me! I'd never had that before. At first I told myself that his drug use would not interfere with our relationship. Then when it inevitably did, I told myself he would clean up. Then when that inevitably didn't happen, I told myself I could help him clean up.
I loved him so, so much. I tried to steal some prescription drugs myself to help him detox (mostly Valium type stuff). He tried to do a three day detox and I seriously thought he was going to die in front of me but we had both stolen drugs to do this detox. How stupid could I have possibly been?
But I wasn't stupid, I was crazy in love with a wonderful man who just happened to be addicted to painkillers.
He lived through the detox, I'll spare you the horrifying details.
Eventually I realized that I couldn't help him and marching him to doctors couldn't help him either. Eventually I found out that he was stealing money, credit cards, and random prescription drugs from my family as well.
We had to break up and it was so painful. I'll spare you the nasty details of that, as well.
Drug addicts are really good at hiding their addiction, making excuses, covering their tracks, and making themselves appear normal. They have to or else they'd have to accept that they are the ones with the problem. It is a problem that you can not take away.
I had an enormously hard time with the breakup then. He would call me crying and how do you react? Life with an addict is hard, not only because of the addiction itself, but what if you get back together, have a few kids, buy a house and life is peachy? Sounds great, doesn't it? But then one day there's a relapse and suddenly all your credit is maxed out and your kids have a zombie on their couch.
You're going to do what you feel is best but dealing with all the behaviour and personality glitches that come from being an addict makes for a difficult life for both you and your children.
((Hugs)) and good luck to you, whatever you decide.
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