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April 23rd, 2013, 09:51 AM
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drewbears drewbears is offline
Mom to 8 AWESOME kids!
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Location: Delaware
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Huge shock. I hate to say even unwanted.

We have had to use fertility treatment of some sort since trying for #3 on down the line. We have had a total of 8 losses.

With #7 we were told in order for me to get pregnant again we were going to the fertility clinic. I was told I would need surgery, then we were looking at IUI or IVF. We were willing to go that far. We had tons of tests, and the cycle before I got pregnant I had a miscarriage. Then we were surprised with Sophie.

This time we had been trying for over a year again. I went to my regular OB and was told 1. Go straight to the fertility clinic again. 2. Do a few rounds of clomid with him. 3. Do nothing. Chances of pregnancy would be slim to none. So the beginning of last year we started with clomid. After 6 rounds nothing happened so we figured we would be done. We were okay with that.

Then our family hit a huge crisis in August. We are still dealing with stuff from that. I struggle daily. With all that went on our family was at its breaking point. I was very much at my breaking point and honestly wanted to be committed to a hospital, mentally I couldn't handle things. Often i still feel like I am not far from there now.

Because of all that went on, we were VERY much done having kids. I didn't have any desire to have another baby, there is too much going on, that we still have to deal with, plus my older kids are obviously older and so much more busy. We got rid of everything!

We have discussed many options, and have decided we will have this baby, the kids are excited, I am still dealing. I am trying VERY VERY hard to get to the point of being excited and cannot wait to meet this baby. But considering all we have been through... its tough.

I know every baby is a blessing, and there is a plan.... im still trying to be okay and see the positive. All I can see right now is unexpected cost, how will we pay for the stuff we need? How will I make sure everyone else has what they need? I need maternity clothes, but I can't justify the cost.

I guess im a downer. I know eventually I will be okay.
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