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April 27th, 2013, 09:23 AM
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alittlelost alittlelost is offline
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I think the stereptype might also stem from boys being 2-4x more likely than girls to have ADHD and 5x more likely than girls to have autism. SO we have a society with more boys with behavioral issues than girls on that alone, not to mention to other things and other factors. Perhaps if they compared "typical" girls and boys, the hyperactive and behavioral issues would be more even, ya know? I get that stereotypes exist for a reason (somethings ARE more common based on gender) but that doesn't mean it's always true. For example, GENETICALLY it is more COMMON for boys to be stronger/taller/etc than girls. That doesn't mean every boy is stronger than every girl, though! My 6 year old daughter is stronger than her 7 year old brother and she (a white belt) can beat an older boy (who's a yellow belt) at Jiu Jitsu. So yeah, more commonly (ie: statistically) boys are harder IF you think more behavioral issues and hyperactivity is harder, but that doesn't mean your boy will fall onto that side of the statistics. I also find, statistically, girls are more likely to be dramatic, whiny, emotional, etc--and it goes right down to genetics!--but tat doesn't mean all girls are dramatic or whiny or emotional or that boys are never that way!

Just try to keep in mind that most people saying this to you are obvioulsy commenting based on STATISTICS and NOT on your child as an individual. Just because statistics show boys are harder (and that can only be because most people think it's "harder" to deal with the things that genetics usually influence in boys) doesn't mean that YOUR son will be on that side of the statistic.

I hope that makes sense.

Here is a great article:
Is it harder to raise boys or girls? - CNN.com

It talks about how some people say girls are harder and some say boys, and how it has more to do with what WE find harder and what boys or girls are more likely to do. So, girls are more likely to be dramatic or whiny and boys are more likely to be hyper or harder to discipline/teach. So, if you have kids that fit into the majority that creates these stereotypes, it then becomes about what is harder FOR YOU.

Some snippets from the article:

[Stereotyping, or large kernels of truth? "I think parents use 'which is harder?' as an expression of whatever our frustration is at the moment," says family therapist Michael Gurian, author of "Nurture the Nature." "Boys and girls are each harder in different ways."]

[But it's also true that each gender's brain, and growth, unfolds at a different rate, influencing behavior. Leonard Sax, M.D., author of "Boys Adrift," believes parents raise girls and boys differently because girls and boys are so different from birth -- their brains aren't wired the same way.]

The article explains why GENETICALLY boys or girls are harder in different situations. That doesn't mean all boys or all girls fall into their gender stereotypes, but it better helps understand why the stereotypes exist (because some things are more common in one gender than another) and that this has everything to do with GENETICS.

[DISCIPLINE: Who's harder? Boys

Why don't boys seem to listen? Turns out their hearing is not as good as girls' right from birth, and this difference only gets greater as kids get older. Girls' hearing is more sensitive in the frequency range critical to speech discrimination, and the verbal centers in their brains develop more quickly. That means a girl is likely to respond better to discipline strategies such as praise or warnings like "Don't do that" or "Use your words."

"Boys tend to be more tactile -- they may need to be picked up and plunked in a time-out chair," Gurian says. They're also less verbal and more impulsive, he adds, which is especially evident in the toddler and preschool years.]

[PHYSICAL SAFETY: Who's harder? Boys

In general, boys are more rambunctious and aggressive, experts say. Taking risks lights up the pleasure centers of their brains.]

[COMMUNICATION Who's harder? First boys, then girls

From birth, a girl baby tends to be more interested in looking at colors and textures, like those on the human face, while a boy baby is drawn more to movement, like a whirling mobile, says Dr. Sax. (These differences play out in the way kids draw: Girls tend to use a rainbow of hues to draw nouns, while boys lean toward blue, black, and silver for their more verblike pictures of vehicles crashing and wars.)

In a nutshell, girls are rigged to be people-oriented, boys to be action-oriented. Because girls study faces so intently, they're better at reading nonverbal signals, such as expression and tone of voice. Boys not only learn to talk later than girls and use more limited vocabularies, they also have more trouble connecting feelings with words.

As girls get to be 8 or so, things can get harder: The flip side of being so adept at communicating is that girls exert a lot of energy on it. There can be a great deal of drama around who's mad at whom, who said what and why, and more. Start when your daughter's a toddler to establish an open communication, so she learns she can come to you for advice.]

[SELF-ESTEEM: Who's harder? Girls

As the more compliant and people-oriented gender, girls tend to grow up less confident and more insecure than boys, researchers say.]

[SCHOOL: Who's harder? Mostly boys

Boys and modern education are not an idyllic match. An indoor-based day and an early emphasis on academics and visual-auditory (as opposed to hands-on) learning ask a lot of a group that arrives at school less mature. In their early years, most boys lag behind girls in developing attentiveness, self-control, and language and fine motor skills.

The relatively recent acceleration of the pre-K and kindergarten curricula has occurred without awareness that the brain develops at different sequences in girls and boys, Dr. Sax says. Music, clay work, finger painting, and physical exercise -- early-ed activities that once helped lively kids acclimate to school -- are vanishing. Few teachers are trained in handling the problems that result.

One area where girls do less well in school concerns spatial learning, such as geometry. Girls may use different parts of their brains to process space perceptions.]

[The bottom line? On balance, the general consensus seems to be that boys are more of a handful early on, and girls more challenging beginning in the preteen years.]

Anyway, while I don't think all boys and all girls are the same, I think it helps to understand where these stereotypes come from: DIFFERENCES IN BRAIN DEVELOPMENT. Can't argue with that Not to mention not ALL kids will be wired the same just because of their gender. But in the event a child does fit the "norm" for their gender, that doesn't mean they will be harder or easier--that is up to you and what YOU perceive to be harder or easier. This is why some moms claim boys are easier and some claim girls are. For me, I can deal with whining and drama as long as the child is receptive to discipline and discussion, so I've found my daughter to be a lot easier, as she is a "typical girl". But my boys could have fallen on the other side of the statistics for their gender and been just as easy for me, OR to someone else my boys might be easier because they find drama and whining harder to deal with.

I hope that all makes sense But long story short, NO ONE can know what your son will be like before he gets here nor can ANYONE know what will be harder or easier for YOU.
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