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April 27th, 2013, 07:19 PM
Certified Dog Trainer
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Fort Bragg, NC
First off I am sorry you are dealing with all this and feeling this way. It doesn't make you selfish or doesn't mean you will be a bad mom.
Going through a rough patch in your marriage is stressful is enough when you aren't pregnant, let alone being pregnant and having hormones on top of it. My best friend is actually going through some really bad stuff right now in her marriage and she talks to me all the time, wishing she could just enjoy this pregnancy, that they tried over a year to get pregnant. I see how painful it is to her and it breaks my heart.
Have you guys thought of marriage counseling at all? At least try to get on the same page before baby girl arrives and see what you can do to get your marriage strong again?
As to being a step mother, I was a young step mom to my first husband. It was extremely difficult at times as well so I can see where you are coming from in that aspect, I think its different when you feel frustrated towards someone else's biological child. I am sure you are a fantastic step mom, but you are just stressed and emotional right now. You need to be easy on yourself and take it one day at a time. I don't think you are getting cold feet at all, I honestly think that you are just dealing with so much right now that you feel extremely overwhelmed at everything.
I also know how it feels to miss the old days. I was in the army and stationed in Korea and it was the BEST time of my life! I miss it everyday and sometimes wish I could turn back the clock and go back. It does depress me as well, but we just have to focus on the future and wonder what's in store for us!
I truly hope things get better for you before baby girl arrives. Just try to take it easy and one day at a time because you don't want to get so stressed out she arrives early! Stay strong and keep your head up! *HUGS*
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