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April 30th, 2013, 08:27 AM
mama_2_Callen mama_2_Callen is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,386
I agree that including Peter in everything is so important! My son was only 17 months when his sister was born so I understand how you are feeling. What I did was include Callen in everything. He helped me get diapers, get her toys and everything. He sat with me while i fed her and he talked to her and read stories. I also made sure that whenever the little one was napping or just content in the swing that I spent one on one time with my son. I talked to him about everything that I was doing and made sure to tell him that I loved him and what a great big brother he was and how important his helping was. It is a really tough balance and I know if breaks your heart to hear Ted cry but just call out to him that you will be right there. Even though he doesn't understand just hearing your voice will help. It is important that you don't just drop everything with Peter when Ted needs you. You don't want Peter to start resenting you or the baby because you always go to him. (not saying that you do this at all i hope it doesn't come across like that).

I don't know if your dh is around to help or not but having him spend time with one while you spend time with the other is good too. I understand if thats not possible because my dh was working 12 hour days when my dd was born so it was pretty much just us. He helped when he could. If you need help ask for it. Don't let yourself get overwhelmed. It doesn't matter if the house isn't clean or anything. The most important thins is to take care of your babies and yourself. Showers by myself were amazing, they helped me recharge and not feel so stressed.

Also i found that a light schedule was really helpful. Nap times around the same time for the older one and eating around the same time. It helped get my older son familiar with everything and excited to help with his sister.

Sorry I kinda rambled there. It is really hard and don't beat yourself up. You are doing an amazing job!! I know this isn't really comforting but I swear it gets easier. It really does. My two are now the best of friends and it is amazing to see them together.

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