Topic: Frustrated!
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May 5th, 2013, 07:13 PM
lookingupxo lookingupxo is offline
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 26
Hi everyone, I am new here. I'm not really sure if I am even in the right place, maybe I should head over to NTNP (currently using pull and pray- but prayer more directed towards conception ) Anyways, I would love more than anything to become pregnant but my fiancee and I are not currently trying due to having lost a prior pregnancy almost a year ago and he is still is not ready to actively put effort into conception just to have another loss and such a hard let down (although he has said if it happens he would be thrilled). Somehow though, I myself have really been in TTC mode for the past month or two, and find myself looking way into every little symptom and getting that gleam of hope again. I think I myself have reached the point where I am definitely ready to get pregnant and I find it so frustrating because I would love to actively try- but, I understand his perspective although I can't help hoping for a miracle baby I kind of figure, if it is meant to happen then it will- my first pregnancy I was on birth control and I have a healthy and handsome 4 year old little guy as living proof that miracles happen haha.

Today I took a HPT just to get a BFN, although this would be my calendar day 22 and I have absolutely no idea when ovulation occurred, so I am either really not pregnant or maybe it is just too early to tell? Idk- I am going to try to make myself wait until I miss AF- due in 5 days. However, I will say that every single month I ALWAYS have ridiculously sore boobs anywhere from 7-12 days before AF and they don't go away until she does! This month- nothing! No pain whatsoever- which I thought was extremely weird. Another thing, I have had back aches and pains coming and going and random cramping and twinge like pain in lower abdomen and side of stomach area. This evening, I randomly felt a sudden tingle in one of my nipples- so weird. Also, it is uncomfortable to sit sometimes because I feel like that area underneath my boobs is just weird feeling- like pressure almost, somewhat painful, mainly annoying and uncomfortable. Also, definite increase in cm that started the day after my last period but has changed color/consistency but remained all month. So yeah, I don't know if I am just over analyzing everything (which is definitely possible as I would so love to get pregnant) or if things are really different and there is a chance of a BFP (there was 1x of actual BD (no pull/pray) and it was in my fertile window according to the app on my phone).

So questions- how do I figure out when I ovulated? when should I test? why don't my boobs hurt!?!

Sorry for the rambling and - just feeling frustrated I guess. Thanks for reading!
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