Worst day of my life so far....:-(
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May 6th, 2013, 11:02 AM
Join Date: Apr 2013
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I was on the the bcp for years in my teens/20s and I knew as soon as I got married I wanted to conceive so I spoke with my gyno about it way in advance. She recommended stopping the pill 3 months before I wanted to start trying - so I did and I thought everything would be just all fine and dandy. Well it didn't happen the first month...and then it didn't happen the 2nd month...and so on and so on. So I started pestering my gyno - wanting to get any and every test that was available because I felt the same way as you - if this isn't happening, I want to know why NOW. Not wait a year until I'm deemed "infertile" and THEN figure it out - what if it had been as simple as taking clomid, you know?! I felt like I didn't have that time to waste; I needed to get this show on the road! Through each test we did, I learned that everything is ok with my body (save for some minor (hopefully) hormone issues) and everything is ok with dh's body. On the one hand, I'm happy that we are healthy and (so I'm told) able to conceive/have a baby but on the other hand, I feel like, well what's the problem then!? We are now on our 11th cycle of ttc and I can't say it gets easier....some moments I'm hopeful, some I'm depressed, some I'm hopeless, but most of the time I'm just kind of.....numb about it?.....
So moral of the story is.....I don't really have any words of wisdom that will make anything better for you but I just wanted to share a bit about my journey so far so that you know you are most DEFINITELY not alone. It is hard (though exciting) to see all of these women around us and on this board even get their bfps and it can be discouraging if we are trying and trying and haven't gotten ours yet, but I think it's still a great place for us to gather and share our experiences because each journey is unique and you never know who might identify with and find comfort in the experiences that you share. So let's stick together!
I hope you start feeling better soon - the depths of ttc depression is not a fun place to hang out for too long.
Sorry for the novel
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