Feeling guilty. Just need to talk
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May 6th, 2013, 09:25 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
I shouldn't feel guilty. The truth is, O's mom is doing much better.
We had that one situation where she called me a "childish nobody" but I refused to give in to her and a week later O was coming home with homework done, and getting to school on time, and completing his reading log himself. It took tough love, but she realized we were right and O is the one benefiting from it.
It's not really anything in particular. We're trying to have a baby, and talking about it a lot with him. He's been calling me mom since the wedding. He even a few weeks ago asked me if I wanted to hear a secret and I said of course and he said, "You're my favorite mom. Sh don't tell my other mom." He's been asking us why his mom never takes him to do fun things like we do, (not even expensive things, we go for a lot of bike rides, or to the park a lot, or hiking.)
But tonight was a big one.
We're walking into the grocery store and he says, "My dad and I already know what we're getting you for Mother's day." So I said, "Shh don't tell me I want to be surprised. But how sweet of you to think of me on Mother's day too."
And he says, "Well of course, won't I be with you guys?" and I said, "No buddy, you'll be with your mom that day." He says, "Wait what?! Dangittttt," and starts CRYING.
My stepson was crying because he wouldn't get to see ME on Mother's day.
So I put my arm around him and tell him it's okay and I know he'll think of me and if he misses me he can call me Sunday or any other day for that matter and we will celebrate the next weekend.
WHY am I feeling guilty that I'm doing a good job? We spend every evening together. We play board games, we cook together, we play with his hamster, we snuggle.
It's not difficult things I am doing. I am simply paying attention to him!
And I know she does too. But I also know she studies a lot. And he says that when they do hang out they mostly just watch TV.
Is it normal to feel guilty for doing what I am supposed to be doing? I'm not going to do less than her to let her remain in the spotlight. I am treating him how any child would want to be treated. And I'm the one ending up feeling like crap because he says things that suggest he prefers me to the company of his own mother.
Ugh idk. Maybe I am just hormonal. Thoughts?
Jennifer - Married to Eric 3.10.13 - Full Time Stepmom to Owen - TTC Cycle #13
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