Having trouble moving on, wanting more...
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May 10th, 2013, 03:55 PM
Join Date: May 2013
I can understand. When I was really young I told my dad I was going to have 12 babies. When he poo-poo'd the idea, I said 10, then 8, then 6 going down by 2 increments until I reached 4. That was my stopping point. Well, my story in a little more detail is in the Pregnant over 35 thread, but suffice it to say it's miraculous that we've had babies. Well, "we" being the operative term. You see, that was with my ex. And we were both deamed medically infertile. So, I am definitely happy with my wonderful kiddos.
When I got pregnant with number 5 with new hubby, who is 46, it was weird. He has two kids aged 20 and 19, and frankly we thought we were done. I'm 40 myself. Initially when I had #4, I thought I was done. It just felt like considering I was heading to divorce, and who would want to marry someone with 4 kids, I just accepted it. I got what I wanted - 4 kids, right?
I've had csections for each. It's not always healthy to do that. I also don't appreciate the way people treat larger families or their parents. When you're young or first married or finally having your first, maybe your second, people are fairly supportive. Congratulations and support abound. When you are over 40 and have several, the support is almost non-existent. It's bizarre.
It does take two to raise a child, not just become pregnant. I am sure your dh is trying to guide you toward that next phase, without being obscene about his concerns. It's scary to consider supporting all those kids, and their needs, surprise needs, medical issues, food, shelter, clothing....no matter how organized you are, surprise expenses come up all the time.
Maybe looking at it from a different perspective would help?
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