A journal for my little Newt
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May 12th, 2013, 05:08 PM
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: **Cloud 9**
Wow I am super fail when it comes to journaling (wow....is that a word?)
So it's been a combination of laziness, being sick, and being busy that I haven't been keeping up with the journal here.
I am still so happy that I'm here, but the m/s is making it really hard. It's not that I've been super nauseous really, it's just that anything I eat seems to sit at the top of my stomach or in my throat, so I know it's just a matter of time before it comes back up again
eeeew.....It's been a really gross, disgusting road so far! Oh, and I broke a blood vessel in my eye from puking in a bucket while in bed, so that's awesome.
My last Dr. appointment I gained only 4 lbs! Yay! I'm trying not to gain more than 20 because if I do I can't have a water birth. I hate that they say you can't do this or you can't do that because you are too fat. I just wish I wasn't chicken to do a birth at home.....Well at this appt, I went through a lot of stuff that was going on: general symptoms, birthing plan, pregnancy classes (which by the way I don't plan on doing). She also said at the beginning that she would try to hear the heartbeat and asked if I had a full bladder (No! No one told me I needed a full bladder, thank you very much
), so because of that she wasn't able to hear it. I was disappointed, and still a little worried (what if something is wrong!), but I decided to ignore my feelings. Worrying will just give me ulcers or something.
So right after the Dr appointment I went home right away and FINALLY sent out my facebook announcement
Now, who is this?! - YouTube
and watched the congratulations roll in! THAT is the best feeling in the world! Because of my aversion to facebook (those of you in the TTC #1 board will sympathize) I haven't been all that active. But now I'm making a conscience effort to see all the moms' pages I know, and comment---something that my selfish, scared, jealous self wasn't doing. I feel, somehow, I outed myself for suddenly becoming active in that regard, like everyone knew I was jealous of their kids and secretly hated looking at all the fun times they were having. But, anyway.......I'll try not to think about that.
I guess the other reason I'm not writing.....is I'm still afraid. This still isn't real.
I have a genetic test coming up in a couple weeks on the 22nd----there they are doing an U/S and other stuff......So hopefully there is still a baby in there....I'm almost done with the first tri (holy crap!!!!) Tomorrow I will be done with week 11 and on to week 12!!!!
So I think I should do a run-down of symptoms just for others who are looking for a benchmark (a lot of these are going to be repeats):
*Vomiting/nausea: this is my biggest symptom for the last 2 weeks. Ugg, and the dry-heaving....gross....ugg and even worse, puking up bile when the dry heaving turns ugly.
*Smells!!!! Smells bother me so much! Having a super sensitive nose really blows. Lots of smells make me sick right away, and I can't help but run to the nearest trashcan.
*Food cravings and major aversions: the last two days, I am really liking mac&cheese and cold red potato wedges nom nom....aversions are still Chinese food, actually pretty much anything asian, and now NOW I can't do bbq sauce anything!!! Whaaaaat?!?!! I mentioned above that I was craving bbq sauce; now?....gross.
*General tiredness (ha! what house-work?!)
*Just a tad moody (no seriously, my mood is pretty much in check most of the time)
*Hungry: and when I'm hungry, I'm REALLY hungry!
*Peeing a lot (especially a couple times a night) and also a feeling of my bladder is not quite empty. I know this is TMI, but you know when you have to pee really bad and when you do you feel so much better because you're totally empty? Well I don't get that feeling anymore. I don't know quite how to describe it, but it feels slightly like a bladder infection (I know, I know....tmi)
*Boobs: So.....my boobies are huge, possibly a full cup size larger (ugg like I needed them any bigger
), I'm getting some slight colostrum building up on the nips and areola, which themselves are getting ever so slightly pinker, especially if I'm taking a shower, then they get the color of a bruise. They don't hurt as much as they did in the beginning (I have heard that pain wains in the 2nd tri), but every once in a while, I'll get this lightning pain on the sides.
*I find it a little more uncomfortable to sleep
*Dreams---omg the dreams! They are super crazy! They are so real!!! I haven't had a dream about our kid until a few nights ago (up until that time they were all about random stuff). In this dream, we had a daughter, and she could talk, read, and do the dishes right away, and her bedroom was lined with bookshelves. I've heard that this kind of dream is very common, to have a baby who was already grown up.
*Sorry for the tmi, but diarrhea and constipation. Lovely combo!
*A little heartburn here and there
So then yea!
Have a Happy Mother's Day! Omg....I got that today....wow what a really weird feeling.
Happy April Fools Day on me!!!
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