Warning: Anxiety-Induced Rant
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May 19th, 2013, 09:37 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NY State
I. Am. So. Done.
Being on relax-as-much-as-possible orders for the last 2 weeks has been hell. I had a doctor's appointment on Friday where we briefly discussed induction. Doc wants to induce me around 39 weeks due to high BP. I asked how that affects my chances of having to have a c-section. Doc said risks are increased (I knew that but I just wanted to see how doc answered the question...at least he was honest). So since then I've been stressed out beyond belief about the possibility of a c-section, and a delivery that is basically the opposite of everything I want.
Then last night a woman I work with sent me a text saying that her brother's girlfriend just lost their baby at 32 weeks due to placental abruption from high blood pressure and that I should be super careful. Of course that just sent me over the edge. Why she would tell me that knowing the issues I'm going through just sent me through the roof.
So for the last 2 nights I have been sleeping like crap because all of the worst-case-scenario stuff is going through my head. I got up this morning and checked my BP, and of course it's high. I knew it would be; I feel anxious. I don't normally have this falling-apart-at-the-seams feeling, and it really sucks. I tried venting to DH this morning, and while he tried his best to calm me down, he doesn't really understand how these things are affecting me.
I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, and I'm half tempted to just beg for an induction to get all of this over with. As of last week my cervix showed NO progress, so I feel like that would just put my risk of c-section even higher, but at this point my anxiety is out of control and I'm afraid that my blood pressure is just going to keep rising.
Thanks for listening. I feel better just getting that off of my chest to a bunch of wonderful women who understand. *end rant*
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