Still trying to let reality set in. I dont know how.
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June 9th, 2013, 06:50 PM
Join Date: Jun 2013
I am so sorry to hear that...I really do feel for you. It must have been so painful not to be there with her when she passed :-( Even though everyone's loss is different, the are all so very tragic. Some lose their children before they even have the chance to be born, and some lose them after, but a mother's bond with her special child is no less significant. Much love to you, your family, and your beautiful daughter. I can imagine your feelings about the hospital experiences must be conflicting. I hope this can be a good place of support for you, as I too am in a similar boat. I see that your post is from October of last year. Where are you at currently with regards to adjusting to the grieving process and trying to conceive?...
(We lost our daughter, Briella at 2 days old in the NICU on February 26th of this year), and I also don't want to burden my husband with all of my daily grief, because we just seem to do it differently. I know that he isn't, and won't ever be "over it", as I never will, but men tend to compartmentalize it all and tuck it away. I think as moms, we have the added challenges from the hormones and carrying our child, so we process it differently. I need to talk about her and share her, and miss her, and be sad a lot of the time, but my husband prefers to be distracted.
Was she your firstborn, because I also struggle with being terrified now of conceiving and all of the possible tragic outcomes that could happen with trying to have more children...? :/
There are a lot of supportive and loving people that I have been connected to or put in touch with, but it is true that it's just not the same, and hard to have some people understand some things if they haven't lost a child. I am hoping for your peace and comfort to have more beautiful things to come.
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