father of child making legal threats (long)
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June 20th, 2013, 07:19 AM
Join Date: Jun 2013
I got pregnant after dating my boyfriend for a few months. Things were great at first, but after i got pregnant he started getting resentful and controlling. I live in an expensive city and told him i want to move back home before i have the baby so i can have the support of my family (my parents are overjoyed and willing/able to help me out a lot). He originally said he'd help pay my rent during my unpaid maternity leave so that i can stay in current city near him and his family.
However, the stress of the relationship and his emotional abuse became too much and i ended things. He became very angry and said he'd sue me for primary custody because i clearly don't love our child if I'm breaking up with him. He said he'd never pay me a dime and if i can't hack it in this city, i should leave the baby with him because he can. He also threatened to get a court order to prevent me from moving out of state. I spoke to an attorney who said I'm free to move any time before i give birth, so that's what I'm going to do. I need my family! I told my ex that i don't feel comfortable with him coming to my prenatal appts or the birth given his threats and the amount of stress they've caused me. I plan to notify him immediately after the birth so he can visit his child. I don't want to prevent him from having a relationship with his child, which is his right, but why should i have to stay in a city i can't afford? He is perfectly capable of moving himself to be closer to his child. I asked him to leave me alone until after the birth, so now he's emailing my friends trying to get them on his side (they are firmly behind me). He's very, very manipulative and careful to come off reasonable in emails and texts despite being verbally abusive in person and over the phone.
He does not yet know that I'm moving. Should i tell him after i move or wait to tell him after the baby is born? I'm afraid he will try to get into the delivery room and cause me intense stress while I'm in labor. However, he might argue in court that i tried to prevent him from having a relationship with his child (I've agreed to do mediation for a visitation schedule after the birth, but not before). I'm trying to enjoy my pregnancy but it's very difficult when he's trying to undermine my support system.
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