Need some advice please
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June 24th, 2013, 12:26 AM
Join Date: Jun 2013
I'm a 20 year old that just found out she's pregnant 2 days ago. I am BEYOND confused. I am an over thinker and a planner as is, so this is just hard. My boyfriend and I have only been together a month. He is 26 but doesnt have the greatest job, like myself. I was planning on going to school next September, and I'm so lost. Ive talked to my closest girlfriend, who had her daughter at 17, and she says it will all work out. If I'm ambitious enough, I'll make sure my dreams come true just might be a bit before I can achieve them.
I've always wanted children, but not now. Abortion is out of the question for me. But adoption has been on my mind a ton today. With the brief talk I had with my boyfriend last night about potential adoption, I can tell its out of the question for him. I tried to explain that this could be a gift for another couple or person that cant have a child, and his response was but why when the baby has a mother and father right here. Again, with wanting children later on too, I dont know if I could go nine months and then just give her/him away.
The reason I am so stuck is because recently I've been getting really upset with my boyfriend on how much he parties. Its every second day. I seriously think he's an alcoholic. I dont want to bring my child into that. I dealt with it with my father and I would never do that to my own. Last night we were also talking as the potential of him moving 6 hours away came up. (he didnt go but then i heard he was still going, caused a fight). He told me that even if hes up there, that doesnt mean we have to break up. I said but if I knew my girlfriend was now carrying my child, the thought of moving wouldnt even be there. He said I never thought of that. (keep in mind, he was drunk). I also brought up if him and I didnt work out, would he still be in his childs life and he said yes. I know for a fact he wants kids in his future, but I'm so stuck on the alcohol thing.
Also, my dreams. Music is a big passion of mine. I was planning to go to school to become a tour manager. I want to travel around in a small van for a living. I know that doesnt sound appealing to most haha but thats my dream and has been for a long time. Thats one dream you cant do with a child. But I sit and look at the bands I listen to, and they do have kids, but they are guys. I feel its easier for guys to go on a tour and come back to their child.
If I was to go through adoption because of these reasons, am I being selfish? I know that if I find out my boyfriend is an alcoholic and this doesnt change things, I WOULD NOT be selfish for taking my baby out of this life, but for my dreams. I cant wrap my mind around if I'm doing it for me, for the baby, or for both.
I'm so sorry if this is all ramble, and confusing. Havent really been able to let it all out. Any advice is seriously appreciated!<3
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