My family is driving me NUTS!
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June 28th, 2013, 08:24 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Cincinnati, OH
I know I've posted about my family being clueless on how to help but this is really taking the cake. First off, while i was in the hospital the ceiling in Alex's room was bulging down and DH had to repair it. My Dad came over to help figure out the problem and the solution. Which was wonderful. What wasn't wonderful was that he didn't help DH and nobody else offered to. So, while DH was bouncing back and forth between the hospital and visiting Alex at his parent's house he was also staying up through the nights trying to tear down, repair, and then repaint Alex's room so that Alex can come home.
This didn't happen in time. So, when Rory and I came home from the hospital Alex's room still needed to be vacuumed and steam cleaned. All of his stuff needed to be cleaned and put back into his room. So we just put the bags down and scramble to try to get this done in time for Alex's arrival. As we're doing this people are arriving. My Mom comes in and wants to know why our stuff is just laying all over the place downstairs. I show her the situation. At this point other people show show. Nobody offers to help with anything. I have sweat rolling down my face and body from the exertion of lifting furniture and scrubbing.
I finally snap and ask someone to at least pick up the bags from the floor and throw in the dirty laundry. My Mom then asks 10 million questions about where to put things. She doesn't like that I say "put it on the bed" or "put it in a closet" she goes on about how i Need to be organized. I didn't care about being organized at that moment, I just wanted the bags out of our way!
Eventually Alex shows up and everything gets even more chaotic because he's terrified of my new pump. But not my old one (it's more quiet) so I tell my Mom to put the new one in the basement so it's out of sight and Alex could calm down (he's screaming at the top of his lungs). She wants to know if I have a basket or a specific shelf for the pump. Uh, NO! She again makes a catty remark about organization as she puts the pump in a corner in the basement.
Finally she announces she has to leave. 30 minutes later she comes back with 10 large plastic bins and dumps them in my living room and says "These are so you can get more organized" and then leaves again.
Now flash forward. Alex is a screaming mess because he hated that we were gone for so long (strangely he loves the baby to death, lol). Everything is a mess. Rowan won't eat, Alex hasn't been outside in days and is desperately lonely. I'm making panicked phone calls to family to see if they can come over and take him out for some fun. No one comes. After having a huge crying hissy fit on the phone last week my Mom decides that she will come over for a day or two to help. Well. She came. Much later than stated (she always does that, something ALWAYS comes up). Then she sat on the phone talking with friends while Alex played by himself outside. OH, she also came in the door asking what we made for dinner. Thanks, Mom!
She spent the night but did not get up once to handle Alex as he screamed in terror/rage every time we got up to feed Rowan his bottle. Then she left early the next day.
My Dad I asked SPECIFICALLY if he could come over and take Alex to the park. He shows up, eats lunch, plays on his phone, and then leaves.
My Mom called us yesterday saying she wanted to visit. But she planned on coming during Alex's nap. We pointed out that wouldn't make sense so she says "Oh, well...I guess I could come a bit earlier". DH says "No, she won't." and so confident in this he decides that he will call off work today and take Alex out all day. Guess what call I got soon after they left "Yeah, I'm going to be much later than I thought. I need to do X-X stuff and Y-Y things happened" Did I mention that this happens EVERY. SINGLE. TIME?!?!?
In the 2 years Alex has been here not once has my family come to take him on a day trip. My brother won't bring his daughter over to play with Alex. My family is just not interested in spending time with Alex or with us unless WE GO TO THEM. My Mom was mad at me because I said that it would be impossible right now to drive 40 minutes to have lunch with her. She kept saying "But we can eat in a park!" and I kept saying "I have to PUMP."
I just honestly thought that my family would be more supporting and step up to the plate to help. I really did. I feel like I'm begging for the impossible and being unreasonable. My in-laws, on the other hand, have been wonderful. They come over to play with Alex and when I've pumped they insist that DH and I go out and take a break, they'll feed Rory and take care of Alex. It's been wonderful. But I can't ask them to come over all the time. That's not fair. I wish my family was a bit more like that.
'Scuse the bad typing, please. 'Breast is Best' but not when browsing the internet!
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