Remembering Our Angels
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July 17th, 2013, 09:02 AM
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
I'll go first!
I got pregnant in November, 2011, right after my husband and I moved across country from PA to WA. We had been NTNP for over a year so I was surprised at the timing. I would have thought the stress from moving would have kept me from ovulating.
The miscarriage was around 12 weeks, by my LMP, but I actually hadn't gone to the doctor yet---we had just moved and I was dragging my feet because I wished I could go to my OB back up in Alaska where I had Ethan. So I hadn't had any ultrasounds or bloodwork, just the positive pregnancy test. We hadn't picked any names because we like to wait until we know if it's a boy or girl for that.
The baby measured around 7 1/2 weeks when I got an ultrasound in the ER. I have that one picture of my baby, my little bean, from that ultrasound.
After the miscarriage, I named the baby "Little Bud"--like a flower bud not yet opened up. I did a lot to try to process the loss after I had recovered, I painted, knitted a tiny sweater, made a shadow box, bought a stuffed bear, asked a woodworking friend to make a tiny cradle. I painted the cradle and made a tiny pillow and a blanket for it. One day I want to buy a little baby figurine to go inside. I ordered a custom necklace with the words "My Sweet Little Bud is Blooming in Heaven" on it, with two birthstones, one for the month I lost her, the other for the month I was going to be due in. I don't know if it was a boy or girl, but either through wishful thinking or intuition, I think it would have been a girl. I think about my little baby in heaven and wish I could visit her. I wish I could have seen how she would have looked. I wish Ethan could have had a little sister. I wish our family could be a family of 5, instead of 4 with one in heaven. I never know what to tell people when they ask how many kids I have---do I say 2, or 3? I usually just say 2, but I sometimes say "2, and one in heaven".
Little Bud: Blooming in Heaven 1.24.12
Last edited by EverydayJoy; July 17th, 2013 at
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