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July 19th, 2013, 11:53 AM
KMH KMH is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2008
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I was told the same thing...after 36 weeks it was likely that they would have no NICU time, but we've had many twins on JM born between 35 and 36 weeks who go home without NICU time. You are doing so great!!

I'm not gonna lie...having twins and a toddler is pretty rough, especially at first! The first 6 months were just survival mode. I remember one day when the babies were sleeping, I put a Thomas the Train DVD on, put Claire (she had just turned 2 when the babies were born) in a pack-n-play in front of the TV, and collapsed on the couch for a half hour...it felt amazing and kept me going for another day. I don't know if I have any great advice, but for sure if you have any family or friends offering help...take it!! If they ask what you need, suggest them cooking you a meal. Mow your yard. Have them take your toddler to the park or something for a bit. Don't be afraid to tell them what you need...people wouldn't ask if they didn't want to help! My DH wasn't much help at night because he has to get sleep to work (he is a pilot). He did, though, always get up with the kids on Saturdays so I could sleep in. Sometimes just knowing that I would have that opportunity kept me going. And don't sweat the small stuff...your house doesn't have to be spotless, you don't have to cook gourmet meals, you don't have to have everything on your list done. Just do the basics at first.

At night if one baby wakes to feed, wake the other one. I know they say not to wake a sleeping baby, but trust me...do it! Otherwise as soon as the first one is done and back to sleep, the other one will wake and you'll never get any rest.

I have an awesome oldest DD and she adjusted better than I thought possible, but we did have rough days. The best piece of advice anyone ever gave me was to vocalize when you are putting them first. The older kid always feels like you are putting them off to tend to the babies and they get really frustrated with that. So, for example, if you are making the older child lunch and a baby cries, say out loud, "I hear you Baby. I'm getting Toddler's sandwich ready right now because he/she is very hungry. I'll come get you as soon as I'm done." The baby, of course, doesn't understand, but it really helps the toddler recognize when you are putting them first and it makes them feel important. I found it to be really helpful.

Ah, here I go again writing a novel You'll get LOTS of advice from people about how to handle your twins and a toddler. Nod and smile a lot...most people haven't been there and have no clue what it is like. Just do whatever is best for your family and don't worry about all those folks.

And there's light at the end of the tunnel. My toddler (just turned 3) and the twins (11 months this weekend) are all napping right now so I can type this
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Melissa & DH
IVF babies Claire (3), Abigail (1) and George (1)

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