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August 20th, 2013, 03:55 PM
mom2many2010 mom2many2010 is offline
Mom to 8 amazing kids
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Melba, Idaho
Posts: 2,672
I might be a little different then most, but lying has 2 categories in my house. The first is when they lie to gain something, or it benefits themselves. Say they say they are staying at Mary-Janes house, but really went to their boyfriends or a party. It's a selfish lie, and the lie is all about them and what they want.

The second is a lie that preserves themselves. It's almost always fear based, in the case of your DD she is trying to not get into trouble, so she lies. As adults we realize that it's usually stupid cause in the end it really wasn't that big of a deal, and telling the truth is really easier, but we're talking about kids, and their brains just don't see it that way.

I'm probably different then most people in how I handle it. The lie that preserves them is not punished nearly as hard as a lie that is selfish. So I'll take the wipes instance. When they come clean, I always thank them for being honest, even if it's an hour later, it helps enhance the guilt factor. Then we talk about the fact that had they just been honest in the beginning we would have had a good talking and moved on, but because they didn't just admit it to begin with they will have to do extra chores to work it off, handed her a rag and sent her on her way.

They need to not be afraid of telling the truth. As long as fear overrides their brains common sense they will keep at it.

My older kids never lied to me, doesn't mean they were upfront about everything they did. It just means if I asked them a point blank question they were truthful, and trust me it wasn't always what I wanted to hear. Sometimes it required me counting to a 100 before dealing with what they said.

It's worked for me, and I still do it the same way with the younger ones.

As s side not, what is it with kids and wipes? Mine do it and love filling the containers with water also...strange kids!
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